great...3 hours of work down the drain.....I'm am not going to write it back all out......I should have known that my post was not going to go through.....

~~~ Daft Punk - Something about us (love theme from Interstella 5555) ~~~ Very very chill.
~~~ Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto - The girl from Ipanema ~~~

Basically, I talked about my opinions of Shanghai. Its just too much work to type it all back out and go through the thought process. For once, it was a very written long paragraph citing my experiences here and there over the past year. sigh. F it.

this is bullshit

I've been sick this week. My Dad came to Shanghai on Thursday, and brought me along during his business trip at Hang zhou and Tong Li. So yeah...back to why i'm sick....I wore a polo out to this trip cuz it was bright and sunny during the morning (30+ celsius around here already).....I'm guessing I caught a cold cuz it suddenly started raining late afternoon and it got real windy at night (I continually resisted putting on the coat my dad offered me..haha)....or then again, it could also be due to the 2 bottles of red wine I had over lunch and dinner (DAMN Chinamen!!)....
But yea, being sick here in China is not fun at all. Unless you have the money to hire a private doctor, any other such medical help around here would probably do me worse than good....excluding the fact that I may contaminate other diseases and viruses at the hospital or ward, theres a good chance I will already get even more sick from waiting forever in line....

I feel like i've grown/matured/become more experienced since I arrived Shanghai. My study abroad is so worth it. Not only have I learned the language, more about the culture and other very factual entities...I've gotten to learn and realize a lot more about who and where I stand among this world.
I feel like I've been taking my surroundings and contempory lifestyle for granted over the years (and I think I will always do so). Having visited more rural areas like Yuan An (where people still live in caves, and nearly everything they own is made of twigs and branches), learning about the wages of the peasants in China, or maybe even going out with the local or other international students at Fudan really makes me realize how fortunate I am. It really puts things into perspective. The lesson I've learned, however, is not that I'm lucky though...its that I should be thankful for what I have and go make the best of the best of what I have been blessed with. (man, I starting to sound so religious...)
As I've been saying many times over the past couple weeks...you really don't need to have been to India to know what Nann bread is.....i mean, sure....maybe you dunt even have the resources to try it, its still not an excuse to not know what it is. I really don't know what to say sometimes. I may sound like Mr. Know-it-All, but I can't believe how uneducated, unexperience, ignorant some people are in this world. Its like, some people have no adventurous characteristics within them. They're satisfied with their life, their world, their friends, their routine.....they aren't curious about what type of lives other people around them are living.

On top of my belief that everything in this world is based on your perspective on it (how life can be great even during sad or non-eventful periods or how life can be miserable and gloomy even when you have the world under your feet), there are also plenty of things that can be learned around us depending on our perspective of it. Some things are obvious some others may not be. Letz say...... a trip to the local 'xiao long bao' restaurant for some xiao long......ok, maybe I just think too much, but over a simple trip like this for me.....I could look upon this event culturally, economically, from a business point of view, from my point of view (a foreigner), a local customers point of view, etc... The possibilities are endless when you use an experience like this to contrast and compare it with your previous experiences.

A tiny little thing like my name...'Erik'....and having been sent me to starters (an english kindergarten) and a chinese kindergarten at the same time really reveals a lot about what my parents were thinking when they were younger. 'Erik' with a 'K' is quite a bit of a twist for a Chinese family, and sending me to a German Int'l School is definitely also not a very traditional chinese either. Its like, my parents had set me a path different than a lot of other kids before I was even born. And only through these sort of roots, I can trace back out how and why I've gotten to become who I am. Its crazy. Things you don't realize until you grow up.

My cell got stolen today. Boo hoo. I lost all my numbers. I don't even want to mention how, why, and where.

I'm leaving back to Hong Kong next week!!! Ahh, I miss home. I can't wait to get back and get some real cantonese food. The sweet and strong taste of Shanghainese food is really driving me nuts. I can't take it everyday. But yeah, before I settle in, I'll be making a trip to Singapore and Malaysia(business field trip with Dad again!!)....can't really say much about that right now...maybe after I go (uh-huh..like i'll have the time to blog).....after that, its back to NYC (yes yes 2nd Ave 5th Street....you kno where the joint is....haha)....and then last of all, final destination, senior week at back at friggin Baltimore for my Hopkins graduation (did i ever mention Bill Cosby is the speaker?). Its gonna be a crazy month. And i'll be skipping school here in Shanghai all throughout this time.

~~~ Jurassic 5 - Thin Line (feat. Nelly Furtado) ~~~

its the small things we churn out in life...that makes it interesting

- Erik

Wanda De Sah & Sergio Mendes - So Nice
Nada Surf - Inside of Love
Rooney - Losing All Control
Something Corporate - Space
the Vines - Ride
Beta Band - Squares
Mae - Embers and Envelopes

Only til now I realize how much of a music promoter I am. I never realized until my friend was stating the obvious. I'm not only a music freak, but I constantly promote it to everybody around me with all my heart. Its like, I want to share this understanding and appreciation for music. I educate others to learn and love it, no strings attached. Damn, how come I never realized.
I think i've talked to everybody I know about music. I swear to god. Every single friend of mine.... I must have at some point spent time talking and recommending music. I've actually made a huge effort doing it too....ranging from burning CD's for other people, recommending music, playing music for others....wow. Haha, I can't believe how many of my family and friends have been affected due to my appreciation. Especially my close friends and two bros, it would never be justifiable how much I talk about it until you ask one of them about it....I talk about music every day.
I'm a music freak. I even categorize all the types of CDs in my CDS case into 'CD I haven't heard of', 'All-time' favourite, 'Giving it another chance', 'In the mood for it these days' and 'pretty good CD that makes it to the disk case everyonce in a while'.
Thinking back to all those things I have done to promote and appreciate music. I'm shocked. Its a huge part of my life.

Erik.

I'm at X'ian. Its my second day here. Fun? Hell Yea. Haha.

Been noticing all sorts of things over the past two weeks. Mainly the differences between Shanghai, Beijing, and the rest of inland China (haha..its really only X'ian and Yuan an..but whateva..LoL). I must say its quite different though, and I say this ranging from the standard of living to the local culture and attitudes....I don't feel like I should mention specifically how I feel about these cities though, mainly because I guess I don't qualify to evaluate them yet. Especially not with the short period of residency I've only had here in China. Maybe you could ask me personally......but yeah, anywayz, everyday in China has still been a bit of a brain drain for me....I'm still a sponge soaking up everything I see.....

I feel so bad. I really want to blog a lot more often than I do in China. I guess I just have no time, theres always something in the way...something more important or more desirable to do....Hopefully sometime, I'll be able to talk about my experience in more detail...Theres so much to talk about.

Tired as Hell. Went to see the terracotta warriors today.

~~~ Usher - Yeah! ~~~

Oyasumi.
Erik.

Haha. Its been a while since I've been back. Let me start off with a variety of music:

~~~ Zion I feat. Grouch - Silly Puddy ~~~
~~~ Elefant - Misfit ~~~
~~~ Duncan Sheik - On a High ~~~
~~~ ????? - ??????????????~~~

Been busy. Edwin was here. Edmund was here. Ronny was here. Seriously been exploring Shanghai quite a bit I must say. I dunt think it would be possible to even describe much of what I have experienced and went through over the past couple weeks....haha, I guess the best way to put it is that theres way too much to talk about and can't be bothered to. LoL.

Although I don't do that many things everyday, I often feel tired. I have a feeling its cuz I mentally work myself out everyday. Probably a combination of worrying, stress and striving to absorb everything my 5 senses allow me to. Even though my bed is stiff and hard, I somehow sleep incredibly well every nite. (Damn my hard bed!!)

I've been culture shocking. Haha. Seriously, every once in while I go through these random culture shock moments. Its like, I'm sick and tired of all this chinese around me. I'm sick of pronouncing chinese words, sick of speaking it and seeing it all over me. I feel like I need a break from it all. Just one day of english..only speaking and reading english. Even my cantonese is starting to turn into mandarin, its insane. Sometimes, I have to cut back on what I say (haha, yesh, we all know I always have a lot to say) cause i just can't figure out how to say it in mandarin. Man, I'm sick of having to translate everything I say in cantonese or english before I say it....

I'm going to Beijing and Xian next week. Gonna be great.

Erik - haha. ended not talking about any of the acutal experiences.

- I mentioned that Chinese music is a long way behind other parts of the world. I think I have to take that back. Maybe I'll talk about it next time -

Its been a while already. But Chris Webber is back!! Sadly though, on top of an nonexistant NCAA basketball (MARCH MADNESS!!) TV program here in Shanghai, I probably won't get to watch that many games of the NBA playoffs this year. That really sucks. Any chances of me getting to watch any of these games is if I wake up early in the morning (assuming I skip classes), decide to stream it on my laptop (laggy and bad quality), and that Shanghai sports channel decides to air that game I want. So yeah, it sucks to be missing out on the sports life. All they show here on the sports channel here is soccer, ping pong and volleyball. Boo.

I got a hold of the new zero 7 CD. Not quite as good, but i'm satisfied. Theres a lot more going on around here that has taken me away from sitting down to appreciate an album top to bottom. But anywayz, my recommendations for the album are 'somersault', 'speed dial no.2' and 'the space between'. I've only heard of the album through once, so that list may change.

I joined the guitar club here! HAha. People are not especially good here, so I fit just good among them. They only play chinese songs....but its cool...I'm just glad there are people to play with.
I guess this brings me to the point.... that the music scene here in China is musically (in terms of its structure, style and form) still a long long way behind compared to the music from other parts of the world. Playing the guitar here in China has such a folk feel to it, its all about strumming very basic chords and singing along to it. Its very simple and it has a strong emphasis upon self satisfication from playing. Argh, I dunno. Whatevaz. LoL.

~~~ Watashi Wa - All of Me ~~~

Ok. Done With.
Erik.

- Letz all take a moment of silence for every innocent life that was taken away by the 'cruel realities of the world' in Spain yesterday -

~~~ Mae - Summertime, Skyline Drive, Runaway ~~~ Recently made my fav bands list.
~~~ Belle and Sebastian - Seeing Other people, Burning Flies ~~~

I really should continue with my food experience in Shanghai right now. But i don't feel like it, i've already been a full day of work. So f*** it cuz its my blog and not yours.

I feel mellowed out. =) Its probably that 'Mae - Skyline Drive' song thats chilling me out right now. I like it....but anywayz, so yeah....where should i start...
Not much breathing room here in Shanghai, I've been constantly out and about most of my time here. Haha, in some way like the way I do in Hong Kong i guess, but different in another that I'm (supposedly) in school around here and I'm abroad in an environment very different than I have been over the past half of my life. I'm content tho. I don't ask for much in life...haha, ok maybe I should take that back...lets just say I am easily satisfied in the short run most of the time.....

Some japanese girls (maybe guyz too, but dunno them yet..wuhaha) are cooking dinner tonight. I think I'll take part in that. Haha. Hey, every man needs to eat too right? I'm too lazy and its too cold to go out anyways. As I said earlier, I'm tired...I had a full day of work. Pretty good class rate today. Went to 2/3 classes today, not bad considering I went to 3/11 last week when my older brother came to visit me.

ARgh. How come I always need to go half way during my entry?

Erik.

My diet has been very exciting over the past month. Yeah, and I think it would be safe to say that I've had an incredibly wide variety of food during my first month in Shanghai. Everything from the street food that can cost less than 2USD altogether, to the 20USD 'all you can eat' japanese cuisines.
Maybe I should start with the 'all you can eat'. HAha. Basically its all you can eat japanese cuisines or tepanyaki. Its pretty crazy stuff, on top of the 'all you can eat' you also get to order 'all you want to drink' too. And I'm talking about all you can drink hot sake, japanese beer, fruit juice, blah blah blah. I mean, seriously, 20USD for all you can drink is not bad already, but thats not even the best part. The best part is that the food is legit stuff!! Like, real japanese food. All you can eat japanese cuisine includes all you can eat uni, horse sashami, raw beef, raw prawns, and the list goes on just like every other japanese restaurant. This is same for the tepanyaki restaurant: private rooms, a chef cooks in front of you, and you can order anything on the menu (codfish, clams, different types of beef, blah blah blah). You point at anything on the menu and they will bring it up to you and cook it right there. So yeah, we're talkin about living like the king. Haha.

Crap. to be continued...

Maybe its just me, but I often feel like I am very different from the people I know. Typically, it is probably due to background circumstances, but even my peers that have went to an int'l school in Hong Kong most of their life do not possess traits similar to mine at all. For example, among my circle of close friends, each and everyone of them are very distinct in their own way that none of us are a good representation of our backgrounds. And I say this confirming that neither even everyone of us together would reflect a true representation of our background. Our personalities have already set us too far apart.

Its interesting to meet people from all over the world. Living abroad really gives you a chance to widen your perspective of this world. Ever since I set my foot here at the international cultural exchange dorm, I admit I have always ignored most European countries. Seriously, what was i thinking? Doesn't that seem quite fundamental? 'Too much BME for my own good' I would probably use as an excuse. Europe plays a huge 1/3 part of this world, yet when I read the wall street, I only goto the U.S and Asia section. I'm sure there are plenty of hungry men and women over there that are also planning to take over this world too. I must make a visit to the rest of Europe asap. Backpacking would sound fun.

Erik.

Still lov'in it. Theres a pretty good chance I'm going to settle here for good. Haha, maybe that statement will help re-emphasize my point about how much i'm lov'in it here. The three main reasons why I want to stay in Shanghai are:

1. Shanghai is not as developed as other metropolitans. Maybe it will be in the next 30 or so years, but wouldn't that be great? To live not only like a king with low living standards to start off with, but also live through the development of what will be one of the major cities in the future? The next New York City, but in China?

2. People here are generally more relaxed and easy going. Social ties and boundaries have not fully conformed yet. Locals and expatriots/foreigners get along a lot better than I've seen so far in my life. There isn't much of that uptite 'I'm higher class so I don't talk to you' thing going on. You don't need to know so and so to get into the door. I just feel that since everything is still going under rapid change, if I keep my head up and feet firmly on the floor, I have the opportunity to define my own world here. Have more things the way I want it to.

3. Huge second tier industry. Many more opportunities for a business man with a background in engineering and interest in developing/marketing high technology. How much easier can it get for me, I understand the Chinese culture yet I have an education overseas. I'm not trying to talk ego with you, but I'm money. As my friends put it, I'm already a chinese walking dollar bill around here.

~~~ Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Neptunes Remix) ~~~
~~~ Duncan Sheik - Barely Breathing ~~~
~~~ Eve6 - Inside Out ~~~



HA. Its Friday night tonite. Maybe I'll go out later, I need a nap. If anything, I would recommend 'Pegasus' across from Times Square Thursday nights. Its my third week here and I've been there every Thursday so far. So yeah, not a bad party at all.

Airik.
'Õâ¸öÐÇÆÚÎÒÔÚѧÓõçÄÔ´òºº×Ö, ÕæµÄºÃ²»ÈÝÒ×.'

Haha. A song Will and I wrote then played for Brian on the guitar. Its a rip off of 'Semisonic - Closing Time'. Not bad, considering a couple of us sang it to him in front of a small audience on his Birthday.

Brian's Song - 'Closing time' cover

[Intro]

[Verse]
Its Brian's song,
So put your hands together and give him a birthday cheer
Its Brian's song,
So take off all your tops and let him see your underwear
Its Brian's song,
One last call for alchohol so give him your whiskey or beer
Its Brian's song,
Wish him a happy birthday or get the fuck out of here

[Chorus]
We know who he wants to take home
We know who he wants to take home
We all know who Brians taking home
So take her home.....

[2nd Verse]
Its Brian's song,
Undress her slowly in the dark but don't fuck up the bra strap
Its Brian's song,
Light the candles, set the mood, and make sure to keep it wrapped
So gather up the courage and make sure you don't blow it
I hope you can make her come.
Its Brian's song,
Every kiss will get her body closer to feeling numb.

[Bridge/Solo]

[Chorus again]

Although I don't make it to my classes as often as I should, I feel incredibly productive here in Shanghai. I'm always out and about doing stuff having a good time. Be it shooting some hoops, biking around campus, out downtown for a stroll, checking out the local restaurants....the days fly by just like that. HAha, I've also been consuming a lot more alcohol than I should be too so far. I've been drinking everyday for the past week, sometimes chill drinking and sometimes out clubbing getting a good dosage of shots, cocktails or whateva...
Speaking of which, I like the clubbing scene here a lot. Over the past year or two, I thought I was done with going to clubs, but having second thoughts now. People here are generally pretty friendly, drinks are cheap, and they have Djs that play a good selection of mainstream to keep people continually bouncing off the walls. So yea, I like it.

My first food poisoning experience was not a good one. HAha, the story goes like this: So earlier this week I decided to grab a quick bite at the cafeteria before my class. I had pork belly ramen, fried rice with chinese sausage and bak choi, and a warm milk tea. I'm guessing it was most probaby the damn milk tea, but yea, I finished my meal real quick and headed straight to class. Probably around 10mins into class, my stomach started to feel like it wanted to turn inside out. My first reaction was like 'god damn, are you for real?'. It was coo though, I mean, I quickly sped to the washroom. But only to find out that behind the washroom doors was only a gutter!!! I mean, it was a gutter around 20cm deep, and that was it!! No drainage no nothing. Basically if you took a dump in there, all your belongings would just sit there in this shallow gutter, and would probably stench up the whole floor in the building. Ahhhhhh, haha...the gutter was bad enough already, but they didn't even have tissue paper either. Its not like they were out or anything, but tissue paper is just non-existent in the washrooms. So yeah, I had no choice but to go back to my class room along with my diarrhea to sit and wait. I was at the point I felt cold and had goose bumps...it was basically the real deal. I just sat there staring at the ceiling trying to think about something else to get my mind off it. Luckily, the teacher gave the class a break at some point, and I just took the opportunity to grab my bag and get the hell out. The bike ride back to my room took like another 20mins. So by the time I was in the elevator going up back to my room, I was jumping at the walls already. So yeah, lesson learned. Bring diarrhea pills and bring tissue WHEREVER YOU GO.


Airik.

Been somewhat busy these days. Juggling all sorts of issues. Dealing with my class schedule, apps, job search, my busted head, and all sorts of shit. On the whole, I'm still having a blast and making the hell out of my time here. Theres always a lot to do and explore when given a new fresh surrounding. This place has been my heaven so far.

My mandarin is coming along very well. I've improved significantly already over the past week. I don't doubt I shall be fluent within the next 2 months or so. Although I've been sleeping in throughout most of my classes so far, I'm making an effort to talk to pretty much anybody I see around here. Be it the locals or the students at my dorm, I'm getting a good dose of practice everyday outside of the class room.

~~~ Outlandish - Aicha ~~~ Heard it and loved it. Theres a whole bunch of european kids in my dorm around here that are very friendly. I really shall get them to recommend me more stuff like this.

Speaking about music. Zero 7 is coming out with a new album in 2-3 weeks. Where the hell am I gonna get it around here?

I should really make it to one class today.

Erik Chan.

2/13/04

I'm lovin' it. My study abroad in Shanghai so far has been more like a vacation to me than anything else....maybe this is what I needed. School here is nothing like it is compared to my much less throbbing 6 years in America. I'm now in the metropolitan of China...definitely not a bad city to been at when the country holds two billion+ people. Yes, there are many options here that are willing to give you their number. Haha.

The only slight concern, if any, would probably be that there is not much of a music scene around here. Americans definitely appreciate music a lot more. I guess it isn't much of an influence around here. That pretty much leaves me only with amazon.com and kazaa for me to keep up about whats going on.

I got a new pair of green air max 95's for $150 yuan. Its ridiculous how much nike profits from its customers. Here in Shanghai, theres this market where you can get the cheapest sport shoes ever. The selection you can find here is also pretty incredible. I didn't believe it at first when my friend told me, but I was in awe for the rest of the day after it was confirmed with my own eyes. Haha, I told myself I will never ever buy sport shoes elsewhere around the world anymore. Oh yeah...one last thing....those shoes they sell are smuggled from the factories.

Erik

2/14/04

Its valentines day today. Not the best day I've had so far. I busted my head playing basketball in the afternoon..might need a stitch or two...argh. My bike was also taken away from me (stupid chinese guards) while I was at the gym.... Damn it. My date is asleep too.

Erik

Ok....2nd day at Shanghai.

HAha...still new and refreshing.....I took my chinese placement test today....I think I'm definitely in this very awkward position....I can read chinese, and so probably got all the multiple choice questions correct....I did really well on my oral (just happenned to know what to say).....but flunked all writing whatsoever.......I think if there were 20 fill in the blank questions....I probably filled in one. Not bad eh?! HAha. Man, I'm such a yank over here its unbelievable. There was this question I didn't even know how to do until I asked the examiner (I had to fill in the accent thingy on top of the pingyin)....

The dining hall here is definitely a change too. Hehe, they serve in those steel trays just like they do in prisons. Its pretty decent food tho, they have a huge variety of all these random chinese dishes...a small dish would cost 2-3yuan/2-3HK$/0.25US$....definitely cheap as hell from where I'm coming from. Not bad at all. Haha, the taxi meters here don't like to budge here either. A ride to the incredibly clean awesome looking downtown is only around 25 yuan or so. I can definitely get used to this lower standard of living.

Played bball today. Some of the ppl here are incredibly nice. I was asking this guy from the soviet union (yes, he can speak very good mandarin) where I can play bball...and he was just like 'You want to go play now?'. Yep. So i met him back right after we got changed and went to play. Simple as that. The level of basketball here is definitely pretty weak tho I must say. Theres no much hustle around here...and the china men here generally don't take the game seriously enough. They don't play mark their man, they just play continous scrimmage games. All in all, it was fun though.

Good enough for now. Hopefully I will take the time to keep up the blog.

Erik.

Hehe....My new laptop! Not bad not bad...US$1200 for a 14.1" lcd 1.4Ghz Intel Centrino, 512mb ram, 60gb Harddrive, Dvd + CDR, wireless lan....

So under very reasonable circumstances (free coupon from Bro) I went to one of those expensive (US$120+) facials on the day before I left to Shanghai. HAha... the whole process felt slightly awkward although the place was for men only (yes, and don't start thinking 'gay'...was actually one of those classy places wealthy men that worked/lived in Central went)....But yeah, anywayz, it might seem normal to females...but that was a weird touchy feminine experience for the man...

Shanghai

My first day has been quite a bit of a culture shock. You know something is wrong when even the foreign looking girls and the black guy cannot speak english....I think I need to re-emphasize that point...even the black guy wearing a philadelphia seventy sixers cap CANNOT speak english!! Whoa. That really is something. How crazy is that?! The chinese kid that cannot speak mandarin is trying to speak english to the black guy that can only speak mandarin....

So yeah...I went to check the gym out in search of some recreational activites to burn my time....haha...I really really need a digital camera to capture what I saw... I saw 40+ table tennis tables!! And more than half of them were being occupied....crazy man.....hopefully they play basketball sometime too...but yea...it was all table tennis
and badminton...

To say the least, however, my room is pretty nice. They didn't have any more doubles left, so I got a single...which has my own bathroom, balcony, AC, and all the other necessities... its pretty big...bigger than a lot of the rooms I've seen in college in America I must say.

Aite. Time to move. I think I can get used to place.

ERik

Back.

And guess where??...haha...HOME!!!

Yeah, so I spent some more time away from my blogspot over the past couple weeks. I was all over the place....Vancouver, New York City, Baltimore, Long Island, San Francisco, Stanford, Hong kong....and then Shanghai in a couple days. A pretty intense break, pack, and visit I must say.

~~~ The Postal Service - Nothing Better ~~~
~~~ Britney Spears - Toxic ~~~ No bias comments. This is an awesome song.

I have no idea what i'll be doing in a week. Thats defiinitely a scary thought.
....
..
.
Whateva man....i'm bored.

Erik

~~~ Taking back Sunday - Cute with out the E ~~~
~~~ The Postal Service - Such Great Heights ~~~

The end of 2003 and beginning of 2004 managed to slip by my blog. What it comes down to is probably because I don't spend much time (if any) online while I'm at home in Hong Kong. I guess theres just many more things to do than to sit around your comp and chat all day when you live at the heart of a metropolitan =P

I have a late new year resolution. This time I'm going to be ever more serious than I have ever been in my life. I need to free myself of my loneliness, and step out of my instincts once and for all. I pray that things can only get better from here. Think logic...think cause and events...think patterns in history....think for myself.....and do it everyday.

I long to do something. Life without work does not exist in my reality. I can't stand wasting time and being unproductive.......yeah.... I am a workaholic (and maybe psycho too). I just simply can't have much fun without direction. Getting trashed everyday during this break has not meant anything to me. I was just simply trashed.....trashed and emotionless I would say...

I wonder where I'll be in a year. Now that I've graduated, I'm unemployed and lost. I don't exactly know where to go and what to do. I'm confused.
On a good note, lets say I know at the least that I'll be tearing it up whereever I'll be. My name is Erik Chan you know. I'm supposedly a role model =).....haha
I can really relate to the guyz in 'Better Luck Tomorrow'...but anywayz...

Erik.

I graduated from Johns Hopkins with a Biomedical Engineering degree.

I went through hell and got out. Its crazy. I don't know what to say. Its like..I proved myself....I proved to myself that 'I could succeed in anything I set my mind to'.

My past 3 and a half years in college was definitely not the most pleasant one. Haha, I was definitely way too in touch with my nerdy roots. I remember spending most of my weekends (including Friday night, most of Saturday and without a doubt Sunday) studying in the library. I took caffeinne mints, attention deficit pills, and bottle after bottles of mountain dew just so that I could stay focused 7-8 hours at a time. I also didn't eat until I had finished the work I set myself and it led to an infected stomach that would hurt when I'm hungry now. I was so obsessed with studying and doing well I think I lost focused on how a life should be and how to live one. I'm proud to say that I'm finally at the end of this road, but this road was definitely not an easy one. I was scarred along the way. Work was normal, life was dull and it definitely jaded my perception of this society. I paid the price and lost a lot of energy as a young restless man to overcome this obstacle. I don't think I'd be able to do it again..

I aged, matured and have become a lot wiser.

~~~ Jimmy Eat World - If you don't, don't ~~~

Mad respect to rage against the machine....its got that lyrical grace to it.....their songs are meaningful yet perfectly arranged and syncopated....its original......creative....crazy.....these guyz define the label "artists".....and they came out with their first album in 1992....seriously, they were way ahead of their time......Respect.

All hell is nearly over. Thats an incredible feeling to have.

Erik.

~~~ N.E.R.D - RockStar (Remix) ~~~
~~~ Snoop Dogg - Ballin' (featuring The Dramatics, Lil' Half Dead) ~~~

I can't imagine the number of records I've bought over the past 2-3 weeks. Seriously...thanks to a visit online at bmgmusic.com and Amoeba Music while I was at LA. HAha....this is a list of the records I've bought: Switchfoot, Jimmy Eat World, the Strokes, Pearl Jam, Clipse, Snoop Dogg, Incubus, 3 Doors Down, Linkin Park, Ataris, Outkast, Plaid, Chris Clark, Puddle of Mudd, Ryuchi Sakamoto, Merck, Prefuse73, My Robot Friend, Wilco, Rage against the Machine. Yeah, the list is something like that....

I have 2 more weeks til I graduate. It feels more like 2 years to me. Argh, I am drowning among all my assignments. Theres so much to do and so little determination to complete any of it. I can't wait to get on the plane and fly home. Hell, I can't wait to just finish my last exam on the 16th. Two weeks is so close....yet so far. I just hope everything turns out well....I can't wait for my LD...hehe ^^

My trip to LA was like a taste of how beautiful life could be. Hanging out with your close friends is like a dream that does come true. Its incredible. I swear to all higher beings in this world that I will make the out most effort to make sure I pursue a career where my friends are. I wouldn't see a point in making money if it were not that I was spending on the ppl I enjoy being around with... But yeah, Thanksgiving LA is what it should be. How great would it be to go hang out with your friends after work everyday.....that'd be a life....a goal to strive for..

I think I changed my mind about this whole pet thing....I want a cat....I probably do not want to clean up its puke when its being a lil bitch =X...but I'm sure a cat would be a whole lot of company.....enough of continous chatting online everyday.....I spend so much time chatting online its getting me sick....I'm sure that will end as soon as I find a job and I will not be allowed to connect to ICQ or AIM at work....just like the friggin holidays.....theres so many ppl around me theres no point in going online...

Aite peace, ev is waiting to play pictionary??!!

Mathmos Products Rule! Check out www.mathmos.co.uk

Woohoo. I'm once again back in California. At LA....yep... thats rite...and why am I online and blogging??.....ha, beats the hell outta me....

Theres this thing about LA that attracts me...its the laid-back attitude....its how the sun shines down across the horizon .....how the city spreads out across the landscape......its all of the above combined with hollywood and the music scene they have here......it adds this slight glamour into the city and makes this place so awesome...

Things have become to settle down gradually over the last couple weeks. I would say it was a time of good ol soul searching for me. Figuring out who I really am and what I want for myself...and of course understanding more of this world I have disscluded myself from for the past couple years...Haha, I suppose it was the reason why I didn't even bother coming up to blog. I simply didn't need to....

I was never into photographs all my life. But within the past half year or so, I've finally started to understand why photographs are such a big thing in this world. When I was young I never thought there was a point of snap shotting moments because I felt that I would remember all those experiences that were significant to me anywayz. Haha, and then you grow up, and your memory starts to fade....periods of time pass.....and you start missing those moments you would never be able to put back into place again......*note to self - get a digital camera and start taking pics*

Theres this incredibly cute cat right next to me now. Its like a baby...so restless, curious and real....I never liked animals much, but I think this one is an exception.......It stood up and looked out the window just now....haha....reminds me of wacko me gazing out the window for hours on end......

I =X USA...lol...

u happy? Erik.

Maybe its just a phase, but I don't want to do or deal with anything. I want to sit back and do nothing everyday. I look back at the last 5-6 years of my life, and I don't think I've enjoyed much of it at all. I'm tired of learning and challenging myself again and again. I'm tired of pushing myself to the limit. I certainly make a lot out of succeeding in what I challenge myself with, but whats the point of constantly challenging yourself? I mean, for one thing, its definitely not very chill!! If everyday if going to be a challenge to me, then maybe I should stop going on at it. I spend so much time looking ahead of whats to come rather than enjoy what I have with me right now.

I don't think I've ever felt this way before, but I want to just sit at home and watch TV or something. I need a couple weeks break. And I mean, a break from absolutely everything. I need a break long enough to make me feel incredibly bored. Maybe then I would pick up my motivation to start do anything again.

I'm so lost.
Erik

~~~ Damien Rice - Volcano ~~~
~~~ Aesop Rock - No Regrets ~~~ @ Baltimore tonite. I need to make it to these concerts. I really need to.
~~~ The Strokes - Room on Fire ~~~ Yet to obtain this new record. I know I'm going to like it.

So the whirlwind finally came through my apartment this week. Everything fell apart. I crashed into myself and broke into pieces. Great, Hopkins. I love you. Just watch I'm going to pull through.

I finally decided to take pictures of my apartment. I figured its about time. Before I pack and leave. I'm sure thats going to happen before i know it.

My computer integrated surgery and complex analysis classes have been giving me a real good spanking. More lessons to learn in life. And just when you thought things would be easier, you crash into a new built concrete wall. Great. Taking these type of classes seriously only makes me feel even dumber. I mean, I learn a hell of a lot in them. But I end up coming out of the class room feeling ever more so dumb. I'm not even close to being labelled as "smart" academically. It always makes me wonder what my life is for then? I constantly feel like my feet are on two separate boats. I feel like the rope of a tug-of-war =/ Somebody pls win.

My little brother came and cooked me like 5-6 different dishes. I think he cares about me a lot more than i think. hmmm. lol. But yeah, my fridge is filled with boxes and boxes of ready cooked meals. All microwave ready and split into a-box-a-meal. My younger brother is 4 years younger than me, I'm so bad at taking care of myself he has to do this for me =/

Somebody save me.

Erik.