Wednesday, June 12, 2002

'Go blog!' I tell myself.

In my mind, I believe todays entry will be the first one I actually feel I have the responsibility to write. Maybe also the first blog I'll write that will be in complete sentences too ^^. Seems like so much has happenned so far during diz summer session. Without any doubt, of course, 'Starscape' has surely been one of the biggest pivots of the summer so far. The Baltimore, Maryland massive rave that ties up loose ends, gives the strawberry-banana (or pineapple) smoothie another good blend, or just a time when I find myself once again reflecting upon my deadness. ~~~~~~~~ Lost.... ~~~

Ok, regroup. Maybe I should try again. Got completely lost inside my own thoughts in my last paragraph and can't be bothered to go back and get it right. Anyhow, I don't feel like going into how I get lost in my own thoughts and etc... so let me continue with my so called 'should write' blog entry that I want to try put into words:

The first thing that comes to my mind is friends. Most of you by now will probably think that I'm getting into all this right now because of the consequences of starscape, but let me tell you all that you're wrong. I don't come up with random thoughts over night. They are born, they grow and I tell them when they are matured. Its simply impossible for me to show and prove what I want everyday and every minute. I live my life not a step at a time, but by as far as i possibly can. Things come and go, yes, its not up to us to decide upon things that we do not have control over. But what about things that you've never thought would happen? Every second we live, every mile we travel is decided upon our own hands. I finally realize for the first time, that everytime you say 'life sucks' or 'i'm bored', its actually only a consequence of your own. We make our own lives. It would be wrong for me to push you all to stop whining and complaining, but those mental states do not belong to my language anymore. To come and think about it, I have not been bored and I have not hated my life since everlong (hehe). If you enjoy spending your free time watching MTV or ESPN (BET?!) with your friends all day, go for it.
Nothing can stop me from doing what i want to. No excuses allowed. Even if i was blind, deaf or lost an arm. If I am determined to buy myself a pair of shoes that cost $18,500, I will figure it out whether it means finding extra work aside from my normal work. Only the worthless bunch sit and moan about the what ifs. Anything must be possible.
I'm a D.I.Y freak, i won't say its a quality but it helps me understand what I want and what makes me happy. I do what i want to do, I ask about what needs to be answered.

Ha, the times at Bradford. Through storms; AK's; BB bullets; the rain; the RA; Wings; beers; shots; george?; and an endless combination of emotions, venues and events it finally wraps up into a huge garbage bag that should have been thrown out daily. It doesn't even feel rite for me to blog about it, its a 3 (or maybe 4?) player game. It would be wrong for me to define the rules alone.

For the musically restless me, also a photograph hater, lets all imagine a set where 6 kids sit by a wooden dock in front of a lake. You can hear the sound of waves crashing gently into the cool breeze played by the wind. The sun has just risen, it blends in perfect with the golden blue sky and metallic colored water. They sit not aligned, but with their bodies in which ever position comfortable. I don't remember every tune they sung with their dry and probably sour voices. But like that mattered a single bit.
**a new song is traveling through my brain, anybody that can come up with a drawn pic would be awesome!**

And finally, to end this 'I wasn't even able to blog about an eighth of the things i wanted to blog about' entry, its time for the song of the ramble. ~~~~ Your tune - (You) ~~~~ HAha, I can't see how any one tune would be able to respresent what I wanted to say throughout this entry. I'm going to leave it up to you all to tune into this song. It can be anything. Your favourite tune? The melody stuck in your head for the past week? The song you thought about while reading this entry? Absolutely anything that suits you.

4 da froggie teacher: "Those that are not growing are dead." So grow with me.

- oh yeah, ron is here.haha.

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