...i'm still alive...

- Erik

UPDATE! MA New Cell/Mobile/PHS # is (443)858-5854

More and more ppl starting to blog these dayz....haha...mines not going to be special no more =(
I dunt really believe in that 'copying other ppl' shit tho...especially for minor things like blogging (hey, we all hafta somehow do the same stuff sometime, somewhere)........i mean, unless somebody just completely copies everything you do and got no personality of his own, then i'd have prbs wuth it.........as i always emphasize....'be yourself'......do what you want....think what you want......that is rule no.3 (why 3??.....dunno).......
HAha....i hate reading other ppls long blogs.....unless its mine, i can't follow it for too long....gets boring and somehow repetitive to me...

I need to LEAVE!!.....argh....seriously must leave jhu......i'm gettin sick....i need a break.....i need a change.....glad to know that i won't be here all summer.....hopefully UCLA will be different.......i look forward to different people (YES! I DO COMPLETELY!!!).....a different campus and all........

~~~ Nicholas Tse - Without Me (shitty english) ~~~ Somehow i'm absorbed into this 'not so well' sang song......dunno why.....i think the reason is becuz its the type of song i'm thinking about writing.....yeah.....i'm presuming i can produce something of this quality......i'll put up ma lyrics as soon as i write any...i will need feedback anywayz...

Still looking for housing next year....hopefully i'll get a place at HH.....i want an executive.......so i can hook ma speakers, amp, keyboard, guitar, technics and comp all together without having to walk in and out of the bedroom..........hahah....i'm already thinking about getting a drum machine......but i really shouldn't.....that'd be way too much for a college boy........and of course, the balcony!!.....i love balconies.....i absolutely love views....love being high up.....chillin at the balcony is something i have mad appreciation for.....its way better than looking out the window.....

some things need to be said......some things dunt yet...or maybe not even at all.......i think i'm goin to decide not to....

3 exams down........2 more to go........Luck Airik...
Aite...delivery is here now. peace (yes! peace! dunt like it?!)

Can't wait til exams are over......its dragging....argh.....a couple more dayz left and it'll be all over.......sooooooo pleased to get a break before summer skool.....need to slow down and regain some of that peacefulness....

Seriously in the mood to write a song these dayz.......gonna start with some lyrics when tis exam stuff is over.....lyrics seem to be the most problematic at the moment......hard to write about something that isn't too abstract, yet makes sense......i alway end up with something corny too......hopefully, i'll still feel that urge when exams are over........i want to write a whole song on ma own....something prob on the guitar and drums...

Can't believe......can't believe......the closest of ppl can act so selfish.........why is it so hard for ppl to believe in each other....trust one another.......and most importantly, be honest...........honesty can seem so direct, so not caring, or maybe even demanding........but at least it doesn't create more misunderstanding, more confusion.........i'm so glad i've finally stepped out to look at my surroundings once again.......i see immaturity....shit behind words.....disgust....boundaries that i neva thought would exist........i hope i dunt run into many more useless ppl in my life no more.......its so sad.....i feel sorry for our creation........people with such worthless, selfminded priorities.....man....i'm young...but i'm growing by day........stay if you want...but i'm gonna pass.......i'm running a step beyond, i see less respect and no more direction from y'all.....

Everyone of us has our own story......our own shit....our own objectives.....is it not possible for us to take a lil time away from our own sorry ass and check somebody elses story out??.....maybe if we did, we might finally see some more insight and meaning in our own.....learn from their mistakes instead of only from our own.....stop thinking about and for yourself....you dunt need to protect yourself...if you show understanding and kindred....they will too..........respect.....understanding....get it rite y'all....get it rite....know your role..

Sooooo many songs in mind.....i'm starting to get the feeling that there are songs i thought i've already put up but neva did......oh well....i needa try stick to one at a time.....what if i run out rite??! (Airik: ..........).....~~~ Liu Hong Hua - Gan ma (mandarin) ~~~.......this song reminds of KTV at taiwan........hehe...i should try make another trip there sometime.......was cool..........haha.....da bitch i sleep with....always on the smallest beds you can find too........sigh.....i want those meatballs....and 'ai yu bing' (lime jelly with ice).....

Sorry dude (hehe..no names)....nuthin personal k?....for only those that know....hahah......gonna hafta spit this one out ........hehe....did anybody say i had somebody on their knees yesterday at the AC??.......haha....... dang, doubt i've ever given anybody that typa spank before.........i was just feelin da bounce yesterday....swooping left...swishing right....

Erik.
"I'm your type. I kno it"....hehe......too much usher during studying.......oh, and T.T.P?~!

at the lab rite now.....gettin my last data struct program together to hand-in.....or should i say, i'm waitin for the program to come together?!!.....

i'm bored.......i want to ramble about something so that i make use of ma time.......hmmm....letz start wuth da song of the ramble?!....its good i always post a song everytime i come on.....usually helps trigger my other thoughts..... i mentioned last time i've been listenning to hybrid while i study these dayz, so i'll keep ma word and put some of their stuff on.......
i actually wanted to post some of their less popular stuff that i like....but i realized there are a lotta peepz out there that dunt even recognize them....so i'll just stick to their best stuff..~~~ Hybrid - Finished Symphony ~~~.......This song pretty much ties up hybrid's style....,damn nice break beats (the exact type of beats dat keep my heart thumpin everydya).....,the perfect manipulation of strings like nobody has ever done (these guyz seriously make those strings sound like an orchestra).....and lastly, a chill mellow trance melody.......except for that this track doesn't have vocals...its the perfect example of Hybrid work.......the progression of the song is also done extremely well too (yep, it peaks)......a good song to end a party i'd say...

Been playing ball a lil more these dayz....eventhough can't shoot for shit (its geting worse day by day too!!)....but yeah, nuthin else to do i guess.........its either eat, sleep, study, playoffs or ball.......exam period has been significantly more chill than it was last semester....hehe...i was smart this time, i made sure i had a spacious exam schedule...i learned my lesson last semester.......
rite now, i basically still got my soc, signals and data exam left.....should be bearable.......haha....i can't stop emphasizing how much more chill i've become over the semster.......i'm so relaxed rite now......while last semster was pure lib time for me....didn't even think about bloggin

MY CAR!!!.....argh.....i seriously can't wait til it happens (pray that it does!)....that day when i can finally walk up to pisan and say "hey, lets go out for drive...and chill...."........kyokyo =)
Haha....its weird though........cuz chances are i prob won't drive as much as i think i will when i finally get my car......its just knowing you have that freedom of going anywhere you want that makes it chill.....hopefully, i'll have something over the summer....it'll seriously make it so much more enjoyable......
its important to also note that i'll appreciate whateva my parents give me tho.....i'm no 2nd generation mutha fucka who can't give da shit about my parents and their wealth.....yep, i'd honestly be just as happy if they got me a bicycle??.....haha.....no, seriously.....ma dad works his life for my puny ass....and works even harder for my luxurys....hahah...anyhow, yeah, i spit the truth...enuff of that wannabe good son shitz....=P

I'm hungry....i'm goin to get over wuth my work...and head for my ration..

AIRIK.

- http://www.gatecrasher.co.uk/connected/events/summer/220602/ - diz iz da shite....every damn DJ is gonna be there...

Another study break.....yeah..daz pretty much my weekend.....either studying or watching the playoffs...hehe...anybody mention entertainment fees for watchin the game?!....mo mood..haha....

Been listennin to a lotta different stuff lately.....mainly due to the fact that i've been studying a lot more....so yeah, was listennin to a lotta hiphop stuff lately......but kinda changed today, mainly cuz the beatz and lyrics were starting to get into the way of my concentration.....so took out some less vocal oriented stuff....digweed....hybrid.......was thinking about putting up some of that hybrid stuff up...but i'll prob save that for ma next blog when i'm certain which song of theirs i wanna blog about......rite now, everybody enjoy diz one first...~~~ Chicane - Halycon ~~~....its been a while since i've put up anything more trancy.....so i thought diz one would be perfect...its chill...not repetitive for trance dislikes....not hardcore......yeah...i got this one on 12"...i like it....
gotta stick to my music roots you kno......electronic music...or should i say, mainly 'trance', got me into this whole music thing in the first place...

Ma new colors for the summer...hehe.....pink&white.....gold&white......yep........it'll look cool......can't wait to get those pink adidas superstar cell's.....pink polo.....and also pink shades.....can't think of any gold colored items yet tho..........
its weird how ppl tell me that i'm the 'only' guy that'd choose those colors......and somehow look normal wearing that stuff........haha...maybe cuz i like to look different....i think its damn cool to wear girly colored stuff, and still look masculine in it.......then again, its ma style....doubt the other guyz will agree....

dang, i'm outta rambles.....i had sooooooo many when i was working at my desk just now....wtf......i'm gonna stay tho...hahah....one more ramble at least.......

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nevamind.

out.

@ the lib.......taking a study break........caffeinne wearing off maybe??

so much to blog......yet again, so much i won't remember to...

Been listenning to probably considered my fav hiphop CD...~~~ Guru's Jazzmatazz Street Soul ~~~...its damn damn good......i especially like the lyrics and the theme of the songs....i can't even pick and recommend one of them, cuz it wouldn't do the other songs justice......seriously, its worth every dollar spent.......if you're gonna own one Hiphop CD, make this the one......it features craig david, the roots, macy gray, angie stone, blah blah.........its chill...its a mixture of r'n'b, hiphop and has a little jazzy tingle to it....

Once again, retracing those D.I.Y shitz of mine again.....haha....i'm planning to make my own poster (i mean seriously goin to have it print and stuff)....its gonna be phat....i've got the ideas and all that in my mind already...just need to spend time on it....hehe....the 'airik' icon.......kinda dunt want to give it away to peepz who dunno about it yet....but yeah, its keeping me going....something i'll be workin on over the summer??.....it'll be cool to be able to look back at it when i'm older...and be able to say i made it when i was in college.....
yes...and all my other D.I.Y things....the t-shirt (i know how it should look already, anybody know where i can get plain white designer t-shirts?).....and my own album....*phew*....too much i want to do..too lil time to....

I was talking to somebody (i forgot who..haha) about my blog recently.......issues about letting "everybody" read about my feelings and wat goes on in my mind........well yeah.......at least at that moment, i thought it was important to address......from comments i've gotten from others, i've been getting the feeling most ppl believe that deeper feelings should be kept either to themselves or only with closer friends......its weird, cuz somehow, i'm getting influenced about it....at one point, i thought to myself about whether i should make it into my private blog..........i mean, should i?? (nah, i'm an individual!!!...haha)......i originally didnt see a reason for keeping things to myself tho.......i mean, why can't we be more open?...and simply be ourselves.....not hafta hide what we think and how we feel about stuff.....every person's character is the most distinct and spectacular thing they own......we should be proud of it.......
"My name is airik...these are my feelings"....i am what i am.......whats the problem?.......wouldn't this world become so much better if everybody was just more honest to each other....none of that two faced shit...none of that superficial crap....no guessing games...

hmm...wat else did i want to talk about.....

well...exams are coming.....starting from today onwards.....should expect to see me below M-level....yeah....well...hopefully at least......i've gotten so much more laid back this semster.....bad erik..bad...i dunt think i like this change.....hopefully, i'll be able to pull through exams just fine....get it all over with.....yep..last exam on may 14th.....and then gonna head down to ma bro's graduation that nite...meet up wuth family and stuff.........somehow, eventho its not exacty exciting or fun or anything...i want to hang out with them for a bit (14th-20th).....show my respect, love for them......especially my mom and dad for letting me become the person i am.....i know i'm the sole reason to why they work-on...live-on....i know i'm exactly what makes them happy and proud.......so i want to be able to give back what i owe them as well as i can......man, they've helped me get through those rough times...

aite...review session...haha...just wasted 30mins....aite. aite. out.

so much to say.............so much...i neva had the chance to.....

exams are up soon...gay.....needa get my act together and get it all over wuth.....have been missing class or just goin in there to day dream throughout the past couple weeks.....no mood to work at all.....just not feeling that stride......not motivated.......all that curve-competition thing at my skool is backfiring.....

Song TIME!...hehee.....i'm glad peepz actually d/l them and listen to this stuff....everyone of these songs build me.....makes me become the person i am......it sounds stupid....but itz true....i can't emphasize how much music means to my life.......always with me through bad times...good times (haha..notice how i mention bad times 1st)......i devote my life to music......haha......
just yesterday morning, the electricity was out at bradford.....i woke up feeling miserable becuz i couldn't put on some music through my hifi or comp.....i need to listen to something straight away......its like the morning coffee, you can't do anything else unless you have a cup first.......music is the tru opium of the masses....anywayz, here goes ~~~ Puff Daddy feat. Usher - I Need a Girl ~~~...

Roots Concert last weekend....hehe...was pretty good....haha...at our new AC (anybody mention raves there?!)......yeah, started out pretty dam good...kinda lost it towards the end tho....the solo's were cool....but not the best way to end a concert tho........i thought the drummer was pretty funky...his style is distinct......the keyboardist was aite...i liked the live jazzy stuff he played....i'm goin to learn how to do that sometime........and last of all, the human beatbox......fuck, he's good.......
haha...ppl smokin all around me in there........
man...ppl need to recognize this talented group........i shall put up a couple of their tunes so y'all should know whoz in that shitz.....~~~ Roots - double trouble ~~~ Roots feat. Erkyah Badu - You got me ~~~

Missed both other dayz of beer garden......argh....thats not cool at all........it closed on sunday cuz it was raining.....and on sat, i spent most of the day working on our design team setup (12 - 5pm both on sat and sun)....by the time i got there...all the beer was out already.....so gay......anyhow, friday was pretty good already....so i'll stop bitchin...

haha....i dunno wat to say to you.....no pushing.......i'll just hold back and wait........hahah......the umbrella...shit, neva even told you about it.....i'm such a stupid idiot.....
but yeah, i mean more than a good time too......i mean respect, care, and life just as much..........i will show it through consistency.........i...like regular friends...only ask for a chance.....

this is for you masta chuang....my fellow blog reader....'ecletic musical tastes'?!.......hahah...we should chat more...

oh, and again, my broz....haha...that lil meeting we had......i love u guyz......word.....we know us inside out.....we should do that more often

AIRIKizms.
"a heart is bounded. i agree. i will, however, only let it do so to a certain extent"


* laughing at all those n**guhs that call the new born child next door their 'bro' *

- Day 1 @ Beer Garden -
Damn chill........seriously, recommend all to check it out.....its not too late...still got sat and sun....12pm - 7pm man (hehee...woohoooo!!!).........
i lasted all the way from 4pm - 7pm...not bad not bad...considering it was only 15mins for me last year.....yep...so had fun......just sit around talk, chat....drink beer....drink more beer.....and drink even more beer...........

everybody is cashed out already......while i'm still wide awake (i passed out early for 20mins)...hehe...its only 10:30pm rite now.......wat a early end to the day....i'm bored now...

hmmm...nuthin else to ramble about really.....gonna drop down ma song..and i'm outta here ~~~ Moloko - Lotus Eaters (downtempo, triphop) ~~~...hehe..you all must be wondering where i find all these random songs...

Airik. pls, no stalking me.

just read my last blog....it sux....doesn't make sense to me....f*ck...must be becuz i was trying to retype what i had written earlier....argh..i dunt wanna edit it....i got better things to do..

Just wrote a nice long fine blog....its now gone cuz blogger.com suddenly went down......i'm so mad...so mad...argh....will try to retype as much as i remember...

gonna indirectly mess with somebodys feelings today...(just alil)..hehe...goal: make you smile

One of the main reasons why i'm up here rite now is because of this song...spent so much time online listenning to random R&B songs just to find it....now i've finally found it......its not toni braxton....hehe.....not biggie......brandy??.......not city high.......not mase......but Nate Dogg....
dang..here it is peepz ~~~ Another sad story - Nate Dogg ~~~ its not as good as I remembered it to be anymore tho........expectations maybe??.......but anyhow, yeah......itz all good.......it reminds me of Chiu driving, chilling in his car......
I did however, come across a really nice phat beat during my search tho......i'm not exactly into the "Yo Yo" musik industry....so yeah...i wouldn't know if everybody had heard of this beat already....wouldn't be surprised if everybody has already heard of it.......anyhow, letz give it a drop ~~~ Break your neck - Busta Rythmes & DMX (its instrumental) ~~~ perfect for freestyling i'd say..

Was raining earlier today......argh...i hate it......hehe.....rain is Ron's 'hak sing' (black star)......hahaha...even LL didn't goto signals this morning cuz of the rain......thats something new......i hate drizzles tho......thunderstorms, typhoons and all that are ok with me.....but i hate those measily 3-4 hours of slight drizzle.....damn, pour hard if you gonna pour you kno?.....rain hard all day at least.....

Ok, this is gonna be an exceptionally random blog......but i'm goin to put it on.....just becuz i want to...hey, its my blog...my space....i'm a man....hehe.....i can stick upto whateva i blog:
- Ok, so i've been living extremely ghetto for the past week or two.......the first thing that comes into mind when i'm hungry is ramen rite?? (well, power bars too, but thats not the point of the ramble rite now).......what are the things that usually stop you from having ramen when your wallet is dry and you're hungry??.....the dishwashing??.....the noodles are too hot??.....the taste of it? (assuming that you've been having it non-stop for the past couple dayz already)....hehe.....this ramble reflects my randomness completely...but yeah....erm....the thing that stops me from ramen is having to wait for the water to boil......don't ask questions!!....it just is...=/
Its like playing video games you know??......when you're bored...and you kinda wanna play........its like, you're not bothered to set it all up...(hey, setting it all up involves a lot you know?......you need to find/choose the game, put it into the console, turn on the TV and console.... and last but not least....wait for the game to load).....its like...i usually just hang around in front of the whole setup and decide upon whether all that setting up is worth it or not..........usually i end up not playing....
However, if the game was already set-up and ready to play........i'd just walk over, pick the controller up and start playing without thinking even if i didn't really want to play........similarly, if the noodles were cooked and prepared for me....i'd just go ahead and eat it just for the fact that i didn't have to go through that tedious procedure of cooking it..(in my case, waiting for the water to boil).....
Now that i've completely blogged my 1st random thought....i forgot my 2nd one....oh well...next time i guess....

New |MLM| Counter-strike server is up btw......1.4 is all ready and set up....go check it out... 66.93.53.238:27015....i haven't tried it yet...but i've seen it run on pisan's computer.....dang, no more jumping around and shitz....thats shitty.......damn cool spectator mode tho....

7-11 Meetings....yep....dang....its been a long long time......shit man.....we've upgraded......haha...its all cyber and stuff now......no more 'dim sum' and nestea......guyz....look how far we've gotten.......we're all over the place now....hehe.....east side hate yo....no poop love..........shit man....not to get all slimy and stuff (hehehe...i'm not the one that talks about this shit that often before).....we've changed....we've grown......we're all gay couples...we've bitched.......yet, we're still stickin it together and its still tite deep down *there*.......so wha about the acapella huh?? yes, its the shit....i loved every lil bit....no regrets.....so whatcha gonna say huh??......fratboy wannabe.......and you, u....u....u...you 'i'm going to quit' abuser.....haha...mad love....shit, you guyz have any clue how long since we all met up...

A sudden swoop up from the low......yeah...its weird...i dunno whats going on....i'm confused....so its a finale/not??......just gonna stay down there man...stay relaxed...no expectations...remember....no expectations...they hurt........

Balled the last couple dayz....feeling good about my stroke......gonna work on slowly speeding it up....can't last on court for too long tho......i'm gone by the end of the 3rd game......haven't been eating well enuff??.........probably.......i'm so wasted when i get home.......i comeback, take a shower, eat, and then pass out on the spot....

4:00pm today....somebody was downloading my song on audiogalaxy......i was like.......dang...nice...hehe........~~ King Airik - let the game begin ~~ for those who dunno it...its old tho.....maybe i should make a better 2nd song sometime...

Been getting comments that ma blog reveals too much of myself.....good/bad thing??....you decide....

Erik, the King.

**Add-on onto my side note a lil while ago**
those silver loop earrings i said i like.....yeah...i like the bigger ones (just bigger, not biggest)...

lunch break...hmm....made myself 'ma po' tofu for lunch....tasted like shit......only had half of it (yep, something must be really wrong if ERik eats only half his meal).....guess i'll just stick to the power bars........they dunt taste any better really.....but nobody told the Blazers not to start late game fouling......so i'll suck it up....

yeah, living ghetto as hell.......all the ebaying, online shopping has come to a stop in the last couple weeks....mo mood...mo money....diu....If there was one thing i can choose to take away from my priorities in life just to make everything else better...it would be money tho....money is nuthin compared to family, friends...happiness.....money cannot buy what we need the most....

music ramble time...this one is a Tm influence.....~~ Mojo - Lady (house) ~~ i'd expect the ladies to prefer this one more than the gentleman....its nice and groovy...

itz a sunny day today....cold tho......sunny with a chilly wind......if you guyz haven't noticed by now....i'm in love with the sun...it makes me trip..hehe........yep....its mostly the blue sky and the clouds (small ones only)....well, and also the sun light....the rays that beam through your window and into your room.....its relaxing......i can just sit by the window and chill.....listen to music (everythings got to do wuth it).......

Still feeling horrible.......its not even 'rollercoaster' no more......its like, staying low.....feeling miserable...feeling helpless.......argh...things just dunt belong i guess....things that you just can't own........can't have......is that true??....what you guyz think?....you guyz believe that you can own anything in this world as long as you have the stride and determination to do so?.........not trying to be sexist...but i think this is more like a guy sorta discussion...(hehe...yeah, we guyz (at least ma broz do) talk about this stuff...its not always what you ladies think)..............just things like.......money....college....jobs....cars....bitches....you guyz think we can own that stuff as long as you're determined to do so?.....hmmm......i still kinda think you can (hey, i've seen it happen)......at least i'd put in at least 101 before i raise ma hands up with dissatisfaction....=/

thanx broz, you know who u r, i needed that shit this week...i f*ckin needed it....wish me the grande finale.

Chanizms.

hmm...feels like its been a long time since i've blogged....had a lot of things i wanted to ramble about over the week.......will try to make sure i blog them all down...but its hard to say......i write the shortest blogs when i have the most to say...and the longest ones when i just write about bullshitz.....

first thing in mind...yep, a loud shoutout 'THANX' to all those who have told me that they like my blog.....finding it interesting....cool...enjoyable to read...helped them out wuth their prbs?? (damn, its not that great is it? =P )........hehe....yeah, it really encourages me to come back up here and blog a lil more......its great, knowing that I'm able to entertain others through such media, instead of having to sit down wuth me and let me talk all that shit.....
I gotta admit i can see why some peepz find it interesting tho.....this stuff i rite down is pretty close to the shit that goes through my mind everyday, i wouldn't be surprised if they can see 'ERIK' behind these blogs......yeah, anyhow, thanX to you all for such praise!!

Went to a christian acapella concert last weekend....yeah, dude....just ask me why i went.....haha....some of you guyz must think i've gone nuts or something...too much work at hopkins?!?!...(hhaha...nah, i've been slackin big time for the past 2 weeks).......its pretty good i admit....hehe...maybe becuz i'm that musical type person....i love music...all notes, tones, sounds, beats light me up like a star.......plus, hehehe....tonnes of eye candy......
Weird, somehow that msg about Christ sacrificing for us all throughout the concert enlightened me up.......its like, i see so much belonging in every single person in that hall....their beliefs are hard and bold.....integration at its best.....
Somewhere throughout, i figured that everybody in our society just lives the way they are...does what they do...and believes in what makes them content with life.......at some point, i couldn't see the difference between singing at an acapella and going out to a rave on saturday nights...hmmm.....i see such meaning behind those ppl....i want to know more about what absorbs them, but at the same time its like scary cuz it seems so deep...okok...enuff BS...next topic..
oh yeah, gotta thank ahm for sitting through that shit wuth me..

Lost $40 yesterday.....argh...damn NBA playoffs......was so close........shit.....i'm goin make that cash back next weekend...

hehe....M - Class?!....a chance that my parents are gonna send me one from Vancouver.......nicenicenice....shit, i do not mind one of those for sure....hopefully i'll get something (yeah, nearly anything) this summer.......it'll be phat.......chill, drive, music...go somewhere nice for dinner...or mall...or movie....or whatevaz.....=)

Music of the Ramble....hmm...can't ever forget this one.....so many songs i wanna put up here tho.....i've always thought about putting up something more hardcore on...but i always end up choosing something thats more easily enjoyable.....i'm gonna stick to this hardcore thing this time....can't decide between the two
~~~ LTJ Bukem - ourworld ~~~ LTJ Bukem - watercolours ~~~ (drum&bass)....sounds a lot better wuth bass turned up

Finally woke up from another dream.......gotta get myself back together again....sux.....why can't i dream on?...why can't i stay asleep?....why me?!......i'm just hoping i'll go back to sleep soon...i wanna dream on....i want to.......i'm sick of waking up from another sweet dream only to realize that it wasn't real.......how gay....is it me??...or am i just an unlucky bitch.....pls...god....pls give me a chance to prove myself.....

Ok...i've obviously only blogged about half the things i wanted to say...but i'm gonna stop here cuz i feel like it...

airik is out.

back to my public diary =)

chillin rite now w/ a Bud.....the past couple dayz have been extremely hot, just like back home in HongKong......yep...its good tho...i like the hot weather a lot more than the cold.....ppl always say they like the cold more cuz you get to wear more layers to show off your clothes and stuff....but i dun think thats true.....summer fashion is like simple and chill......shirt/t-shirt....sun glasses....shorts.....nice shoes w/ extremely low cut socks...or nice sandals......yepyep...i like that style....somehow i see more style in that....but oh well...

got a lil tanned already......from sitting at the beach....just chilling and doin anything but work during the week...its great.....college is supposed to be like that.....man, the library is only for working...not for sticking around at 24/7....

its been a good week so far....yep...heehee...unexpected results....man, i feel like i'm constantly driving in circles......i'm dizzy and i dunno wats happenning....yet somehow content w/ life........

Anyhow....song of the ramble ~~~~ David Tao - Regular Friends ~~~~ this one is for you yo...and i mean it..you'll see =) i wonder when you'll get hooked into my rambles...or will you??.....time will tell...

DAmn....this Bud Ice stuff is chill........perfect timing man...needa thank jan for contributing w/ this one...

I'm seriously wondering how many ppl check my rambles out.....as in, read it from time to time......somehow, i get the feeling that more of my Aol buddies read this stuff more......the info's are more straightforward and meaningful i guess....not like ICQ, ppl put up all this useless bullshit in......

Now that signals midterm is over....i have one data program and one more paper to hand in before exams.....argh...i got 5 exams......its gonna suck...believe me...i know it will........man.......that means 24 hour lib time....gay.....hopefully i'll have chilled enough to be ready by then....

Spring fair is coming...nice...i like that time....BEER GARDEN!!!!...heheheheheeh....nicenicenicenicenicenice.......and also 'Roots' are gonna be here too.....yep, its gonna be great from now til exams.....

Aite, i'm out.

All you AzN pride peepz, chek diz joint out yo - http://www.eden.rutgers.edu/~jtao/jin1.wmv

my first wasted blog..hehehee....hmm.....everybody shouldn't take this one seriously....

yepyep...fuct.....kinda of....feeling happy.......i've somehow had both an extremely good and bad week...man....i dunno wats happenning......my life is goin up and down once again.......shit...that gotta stop.......was at the library 4 times today.......was pretty much walking in and out of that place......i need to work on signals...but i'm not in the mood tho....shit....u all know how that feels rite??...........things in mind i guess....as vic says......you're in love...hahahhaha...wtf.......can't work...can't sleep...can't eat............daz me man....lost a lotta weight in the past couple dayz.....no appetite.....all i've been eating is those power bars.........during class....while i walk to class...anywhere......i'm getting sick of that shit.....

went to med skool yesterday...might need to go again tomrorow too.....damn...the jhu med skool is seriously a maze of its own.....i was completely lost in there....saw a lotta neat things tho.....haha...the professor brought me around the hospital.......was kinda cool.....i saw that monkey we're gonna do eye surgery on later this month.....saw real time eye surgery's.....had to wear those surgery clothing shitz...hahah....i looked like a dork...but anyhow, it was cool.......ma first time to johns hopkins med skool........

aite..foods here...hehe...sushi

hmmm....3 consecutive dayz of bloggin (ok, maybe yesterday wasn't really considered one)...but i was about to ramble tho...ended up guitaring instead cuz i had nuthin to ramble about....just wanted to come up i guess...

lemme start off wuth the song of the ramble anywayz...~~~ System F - Cry Unplugged (its not trance) ~~~...this one really hit me hard while i was studying signals at the library earlier today.....it reminds me of sad things.....especially because of the sad vocal and guitaring in the song......its a nice sad addictive song though...hope you all like it....might not be the best song to d/l and listen to when you're sad tho.....so becareful....

Its been a really weird day today......feels like i woke up from a dream i've been in for the past couple dayz....all of a sudden i wake up this morning...and somehow i realize that life is just going on......still remember it was Jay Chou's 1st album i had set into my stereo for alarm this morning.......was around track 3 by the time i finally realized where i was.....and uptil track 9 until i then decided to get outta bed before i was late to signals......

Somethings been dragging along with me all throughout today.......dunno how to describe it.......some sad dull shitz.......its been irritating.....can't think correctly...can't stay focused for too long.......its like i need something......a smoke??.....a talk???.....throughout the day i've been constantly trying to occupy myself.....argh....thats a bad thing....used to do that all throughout last summer......used to do that whenever i had shitz in mind, and just wanted to ignore it..numb myself through work.....hopefully, tomorrow i'll wake up feeling i've woken up from another dream.....

Needa go Med Skool tomorrow...BME design shitz....in-vitro testing for the ICP & IOP project thingy.....argh...feeling indecisive rite now about whether even if i want to go or not.....somehow, feels like its gonna be a long day for me tomorrow.....but rreally isn't.......

Plans to go UCLA for summer skool...yep, sudden schedule change.....registered already....so its pretty much goin to be 1st session summer at JHU..and 2nd session at UCLA/bak at JHU.......

Argh...i'm sick....maybe i should go get rest or something.....
ERik

............kaka

Back......just cuz Jan said she likes my ramblings..hahahah....also came up to post some ego shitz..hehe..

jandanan: i'll just believe u and blame u if sth. goes wrong
ec4k:...
ec4k: i told u go ask somebody else
jananan:no
ec4k:can't blame me no more
jananan:u seem the most intellectual around here
ec4k:hahhaha
ec4k: i like that one
jandanan:sad..but true
ec4k: i'm gonna put this up on info
jandanan: -_-"

Been consistently high for the past 30hours....damn....the natural ones are the killers...hah....shit....all indications showing....head rushing....heart bopping....constant shaking....phasing in and out.......its like...the world is just spinning around and around.....everybody is doing their own thing......and u're just in the middle staring at everybody......shit....its been a long time...its been long......argh....i needa rest....

tite tho....something to look forward to...something to keep me on my track....color up my life.......(somehow having said that reminds me of those color-in books i had when i was a kid....hahha..how random)......yep..anywayz......yeah....the stupidest thing to do worked out nicely.....hahha......somehow everything went well too....or was it becuz i helped myself??.....anyhow, so far so good...

i've been reading my old blogs a while ago....hahah....its interesting.....seems like i've been swearing too much tho....fucking this..fukin that......that needs to relax....will remind myself to stop swearin on blog..........but on the whole, its been pretty cool.....can't believe i've blogged so many posts already tho (only since end of fall 2001)......too long to read all at once.....i was thinking for those new Airik's Ramblings readers....what do they do??..read it all??...read bits??..only read the latest updates???.....
Been wondering when this blog stuff is goin to end......when I graduate 2004??...before that? cuz blogger.com will shut down??....

Aite...heres the song of the ramble...EVERYBODY!!!!!! LISTEN UP!!
~~ Drunken Tiger - G Fresh (korean rap) ~~ Palmy - 8am(Thai pop/rock) ~~

Oh...how could i forget to add yesterday......hehe....ahm and i won $280 betting on the NCAA championships online........yep....we both pitched in $20 (haha..i borrowed $20 from him too)...so in otherwards, didn't even do shit....all i did was stand around, talk and watch the game....two bets:
1. First Half Maryland +4
2. Two parlay - End of game Maryland +9 - total 2nd half score below 78 points -

Fukin exciting man....we didn't leave our couch all throughout the game......everything went the way we read the game......yep.....fukin cool....a bonus on top of Terapins winning the game!!

Nice cali-like day today...gonna go lib...maybe sit the beach alil.... peace

Musuck ramble (some of you prob heard of this one before, anyhow, itz good)
~ Craig David feat. Artful Dodger - Summer Jam ~

Oooo.....TMF (tiredmuthafucka)....heres ma day:

- Went to DataStructures...kakaka....this one should be kept within peepz...wtf man......wtf man....bus law -> data???.......

- Spent time at 'Biomedical signals & systems analysis' office hours today.....yeah, daz the full name of this class to emphasize how hardcore this stuff is....tried to catch up everything i missed in the last couple weeks.....was alrite.....got TAed for 2 straight hours....so was tite....itz been so long i've been to office hours without having to fight for questions...

- Work....the usual......needa start write documentation for my V2 Canine Model program...argh...i hate english.....i hate writing....i can only blog.....reminds me of my fuckin sociology paper....wtf.....i dunt wanna rewrite it....i'm sick of it....

- Bball and Squash at the new gym....damn damn damn tiring.....i had pre-cramps the whole walk back home........felt cold during that shit, and still played on....wtf.....i always do that and torture myself afterwards....

- EAT EAT EAT EAT AT JONG KAT....nice....heehee....raped shitz....thats been the restaurant of the semester so far.....hahah..go there and celebrate...chill...drink....talk shitz......both rape the food and let them rape our wallets....

- still more..but too tired to type..haha...its 11pm...needa make it to signals tomorrow at 8:30pm...won't give all that TAing up i had today...

*Airik dozed off* ~~~ dreaming of 'Metallica - Master of puppets' solo (i'm getting there) ~~~~

**ATTENTION ALL AIRIK'S RAMBLINGS FOLLOWERS** - The following post is a WOT, continue under your own discretion.


should be studying rite now...spent half the day worrying about the following week..lots of things in mind...all these tiny bits and pieces to follow up with......i should actually be finishin my signals h/w rite now......needa get that stuff done so that i can watch the game tomorrow....College Park vs. Indiana........I'm all for Maryland man....GO TERPS!!!

Got both Tosca and Gorillaz's CD already.......didn't like Tosca's... gay......just wasn't my thing....they weren't exactly the type of dub's i was expecting to hear......haven't had time to hear the Gorillaz one yet (also means i have visited the library enough these dayz)....somehow i have a feeling that its not gonna be what i'm expecting.....so i'm not too hyped about it anymore...hope this lost in expectations will help me appreciate it more when i do hear it.. (3/4/2002 - OH SHIT, THE B-SIDES CD IS GOOD!)

SIgh...what should i talk about??...hehe...i'm so givin myself an excuse not to start signals.....hehe.......i've pretty much been gone through my whole phonebook, AOL and ICQ lists already....just wanting to waste time...somehow spend it on integrating rather than regulating.........kinda explains why i'm up here rite now blogging about something i have no clue about......

Letz see....ermm....yeah, i got my fukin turntables all hooked up finally......pretty tite....its been hard to mix tho.....not used to the new mixer mostly.......too many options....its been difficult to hear whether the beats are matched or not yet through the cues....

grades been suckin....yeah, tats a tough one...i've been doin 'ok' on the shitty classes which i spent less time on....and i'm failing my hard classes eventhough i've put in the most time on that stuff....i'm like in the middle of nowhere........sux to be BME........i wanna chill out....go major in music........go finally do something i have appreciation for......

still decidin on summer plans....chances i might goto UBC / Berkley for summer skool for a session...and at Hopkins for the earlier session...not sure yet....still need to get things organized......and planned out......its important...somehow it seems like i spend more time organizing my work and stuff rather than doin it.....

btw??..any of you having prbs reading my blog??...not being able to follow my shitz??....my sociology professor and TA said i have probs writing or something....something wrong with the way i write and my train of thought.....do any of you 'Airik's rambling' blog readers feel that i have this problem too......email erik_chan@hotmail.com and tell me about it.......(shit, i'm seriously rambling now.....u can so see how i'm just tryin to waste time here)...

- When you're high, you don't feel it. But when its low, it hits you like a mutha fucka. - ...heh...words of wisdom man......this one is for you slut...(wondering if you notice this one is for you)....ha...chill out man....as i always say......forget the 'suck it up' thing....i'm tired of that one...plus, doesn't really work......we both good examples of proving that....hahahah.........

Hey Lenard, this one ramble is personally for you: I SAID!!!!!! STOP WASTING YOUR TIME!!!!........hahah.....j/k....go listen to me and get a part-t job man...u won't regret it...i swear...

No complains in life for the moment. Not exactly living the MAX life....but hey, no complains man.......i can't ask for more.....FRIENDS, FAMILY, PS2, CS, BALL, WORK, COLLEGE, MUSIC,.....its not bad man....i'm somehow still surviving.....not on the verge of suicide.....i'm just living on....looking towards that one day when i hit my first big check....finally, that day when i feel secure as a person.....when i bore my first child......

In the mood to pick up the guitar once again....aite.

song of the ramble..hehe...~~ Groove Armada - My Friend ~~

oh yeah, btw...WOT means....Waste Of Time... =P....I figured chances are that 10/10 of all readers will read-on anywayz.

eRik.
"Live life 'for' and not 'by' the moment." - as she says =)

just finished my data structures midterm.......oh yeah....i'm fukin done for the week....finally, some spare time to bring lil bro around....

Just found out these new albums are out:

Different Tastes of Honey - Tosca
shit man....my fav downtempo group.....a whole fukin album dedicated to remixing just only one song 'Honey'...SHITSHITSHIT@@~~~!!!>.....needa go get that later....

B-Sides - Gorillaz
dang man....i'm in love w/ their shit...needa go get this no matter even if reviews suck....

Gonna goto the mall to get ma son some decent clothes and shitz....prob gonna go watch 'blade 2'....will be back shortly..peace

Bak at skool.

Just got back from London 2 dayz ago....the city of damp, dull weather....was aite....chilled at sam's big time.....hahaha...ni**uh peace man.......most memorable time of the trip: ron and i getting lost at selfridges....shit.....looking for each other while phasing out.....kaka.....peace...hate....ni**uh what?!?!

Did a lotta shopping....got vinyl (+ a damn nice vinyl case) and clothes from diesel, mexx, freshjive, nike, zara..........spent pretty much the rest of my semesters allowance....dang, i'm gonna hafta live fukin ghetto from now til mid may.......

Lil bro is here at my apt rite now. pretty cool....that means a personal chef for the week...woohoo....gonna try make it a yearly spring visit thing......shitty that i got two midterms this coming week tho....business law tomorrow and data structures midterm on wednesday....don't feel like putting the 101% effort this time..too lazy...wanna just stay home and chill...stay on top of winning 11....bring my bro out for shopping, food, blah blah...

DAmn nice song I heard at London ~~~ d.b. boulevard - Point of View ~~~ anybody who attempts to download this song and bitches (fuck ron) will indirectly stand against me....so all you at least appreciate it, feel dat groove, and finish the damn song if you hear it...

Doubt sam's gonna read this....but anyhow: Get happy man....daz all i can say to you.....shit happens....hate, love...dat shit is all the same...u need to b able to control what you think, feel and sense.......get outta that hole as soon as you can before you dig deep...

needa go study now. will be back....dunno when...

Living w/ no prbs. finally. Erik.

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not in the perfect mood now....i dunno.....just the bad times i guess.....so much going on in my head....so confusing...so insecure....


when was the last time you felt shitty about the truth???....like, you know, how sometimes the reality is just so damn ugly....you don't even want to put it into words...you can't even tell your most trusted family or friends about it......you know what i mean?.....its like, you realize that the truth is actually so cut down dry.......even if you attempt to talk about it, people just generally don't admit it........you try to convey that sense of truthfulness through bullshitting and touching upon the idea.....but you really know deep inside that if you had spilt the truth with that plain one sentence, you can point out what you want to say easily...and it would make things uncomfortable for others and yourslef becuz its so human like..


its so sad that we humans are such selfish ignorant beings....seriously.....u can all reject this notion of mine....but chances are that you feel the same way deep inside too...all we think about is what we want...what we want to accomplish.......what are the pros...what are the cons......what affects me...what does not....what do others think of me........itz all about the self.....all about you becoming the person you want to be and the need to let others to know who you are...........

dang, got class...

...got sociology midterm, paper and data structure program due soon...

will get back to write soon...everybody enjoy the new scheme for now...hope it brightens the blog up....