Woohoo. I'm once again back in California. At LA....yep... thats rite...and why am I online and blogging??.....ha, beats the hell outta me....

Theres this thing about LA that attracts me...its the laid-back attitude....its how the sun shines down across the horizon .....how the city spreads out across the landscape......its all of the above combined with hollywood and the music scene they have here......it adds this slight glamour into the city and makes this place so awesome...

Things have become to settle down gradually over the last couple weeks. I would say it was a time of good ol soul searching for me. Figuring out who I really am and what I want for myself...and of course understanding more of this world I have disscluded myself from for the past couple years...Haha, I suppose it was the reason why I didn't even bother coming up to blog. I simply didn't need to....

I was never into photographs all my life. But within the past half year or so, I've finally started to understand why photographs are such a big thing in this world. When I was young I never thought there was a point of snap shotting moments because I felt that I would remember all those experiences that were significant to me anywayz. Haha, and then you grow up, and your memory starts to fade....periods of time pass.....and you start missing those moments you would never be able to put back into place again......*note to self - get a digital camera and start taking pics*

Theres this incredibly cute cat right next to me now. Its like a baby...so restless, curious and real....I never liked animals much, but I think this one is an exception.......It stood up and looked out the window just now....haha....reminds me of wacko me gazing out the window for hours on end......

I =X USA...lol...

u happy? Erik.

Maybe its just a phase, but I don't want to do or deal with anything. I want to sit back and do nothing everyday. I look back at the last 5-6 years of my life, and I don't think I've enjoyed much of it at all. I'm tired of learning and challenging myself again and again. I'm tired of pushing myself to the limit. I certainly make a lot out of succeeding in what I challenge myself with, but whats the point of constantly challenging yourself? I mean, for one thing, its definitely not very chill!! If everyday if going to be a challenge to me, then maybe I should stop going on at it. I spend so much time looking ahead of whats to come rather than enjoy what I have with me right now.

I don't think I've ever felt this way before, but I want to just sit at home and watch TV or something. I need a couple weeks break. And I mean, a break from absolutely everything. I need a break long enough to make me feel incredibly bored. Maybe then I would pick up my motivation to start do anything again.

I'm so lost.
Erik