Monday, November 10, 2003

Maybe its just a phase, but I don't want to do or deal with anything. I want to sit back and do nothing everyday. I look back at the last 5-6 years of my life, and I don't think I've enjoyed much of it at all. I'm tired of learning and challenging myself again and again. I'm tired of pushing myself to the limit. I certainly make a lot out of succeeding in what I challenge myself with, but whats the point of constantly challenging yourself? I mean, for one thing, its definitely not very chill!! If everyday if going to be a challenge to me, then maybe I should stop going on at it. I spend so much time looking ahead of whats to come rather than enjoy what I have with me right now.

I don't think I've ever felt this way before, but I want to just sit at home and watch TV or something. I need a couple weeks break. And I mean, a break from absolutely everything. I need a break long enough to make me feel incredibly bored. Maybe then I would pick up my motivation to start do anything again.

I'm so lost.

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