Studies show that frequent video-game players have more "lucid dreams" (in which the dreamer is aware that they are dreaming) than non-gamers. Often, the dreamer can even manipulate the action or observe it in third-person, much like a video game.

Issues

Sometimes I'm so conflicting I don't even believe it myself. I often feel what I want is not who I am. My values, beliefs, and needs do not sum up properly. Sure, I can reason my attributes, all of them being extremely logical deductions, but they aren't a wrap. Either I'm just an another 21 year old trying to find himself, or maybe just simply psychotic.

I've always wished to be killed unintentionally. I wish a meteorite would drop on my apartment and headshot me tomorrow morning. If that day ever turns up; feel happy for me for it was truly what I've wanted. I would be glad to be knocked out for good. Call me a jaded soul...for I know that is who I am. But I don't think its something I decide for myself either. I don't consider myself a very pessimistic person (I am at times very optimistic), I just think life sucks. Or to better clarify that, I know life sucks. Its because of who I am and not what I have.

I live a lot of things many would aspire to have. I could be wrong, but having had the opportunity to grow and live in comfort, travel around the world at a young age, and graduate with what we call a ‘prestigious degree’ at 20 is a lot of blessing. You can think I’m a fag here for whining, but realize what I have/had has nothing to do with my state of mind everyday. All these things I have is a consequence of my dad having worked his ass or my hermit-like existence at my work desk. And when one gains, one must sacriface something else to give it balance. I can't say for my dad, but I sure don't fully know how to enjoy life for what it is.

On another note, I now realize why punk is dead.

Help Me. Pls Help Me.

A-Track
~~~ Third Eye Blind - Motorcycle Drive by ~~~

Stuff

Following the Super Bowl, I watched a preview episode of 'American Dad' (the new series by the creator of 'Family Guy'). Maybe I was just drunk (or high!?) off my ass, but it was hilarious. I soooo can't wait.

Sometimes I really wonder who I am. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong. Theres so much behind me and so much more to live for. It gets to my head, and prevents me from enjoying the moment...enjoying life. Is there really all that to prove? Is there? I need to learn to take it easy. Maybe what I want is not how I think it is accomplished.

I need inspiration. I've been trying to write songs for my band (we don't have a name yet). But nothing close to satisfiscation dribbles out. I'm not very good at combining the melody (vocal) and the riff together....Help.

Comment Me!!

Its time to introduce reader comments to my blog. Something I've always wanted to include, but somehow never got to.

So here we go. Please leave comments. Whether to tell me you like my entry or should just shut up... Say something. Anything. Let me know you are there, and give me a reason to write more crap.

We have a Winner

Yes. I am here to talk about the PSP (playstation portable) handheld again. I guess I just can't stop mentioning the potential of this 'premium gagdet' taking upon the world near us. If there is anybody that will stop Apple from dominating the portable media device market, Sony will be it.
Sure, $250 retail in the States is not exactly a budget price, but I believe Sony decided on this because it has the power to do so. It would have killed all competition (aka Nintendo's dominant gameboy market) if it had decided to retail it at $200. Sony knows even at $250 a pop, the first million shipment of PSPs will sell out in March (it is already sold out as I speak today). 800,000 units were sold out within the first couple hours in Japan on December, and I don't see any reason why it will be any different half way across the world this time.
I never thought the DS and PSP were competitors because they targeted a different audience. But my predictions are that unless the Nintendo gets its act together (such as dropping the price as soon as it can), the DS will get knocked out before it knows it. Its not that the DS is an incapable machine, its just that the games for it right now are close to worthless. Not to mention round 2 of games are just as much sleepers as of those it started off with.
While on the other hand, the PSP has around 24 games lined up for launch(5 of which will be ready to be played online through a hotspot, and ~4 of them worth buying). Not to mention the device also acts both as a video/mp3 player. Seriously, $250 is equivalent to an iPod-Mini, I'm a music freak but would still choose the PSP instead.

Then again, this is all just a bunch of my speculation. My vision is that the PSP will be a sure fire hit in the next 2+ years or so. It will change portable gaming forever. Oh and yeah, I already pre-ordered 5 PSPs.

Settling Down.

Its been a great week. Things are starting to come together up here in the northwest. Considering everything here, I think I'm going to love it. Maybe this is what I've always been looking for...

Things that Matter Most

We live in such a sad world. If anything, I believe the demise of human existance would be a manifescation of our own. I want you, and you want this. It never ends. Why can't we live peacefully? Why not more ideal? At the rate we're going, the later we are born down the road...the more miserable life gets.

Anyways, my point is there are many things which matter a lot to me. Many of them I probably don't stress enough or any at all. Every so often, I lose perspective of my values, and I don't quite come across the way I would want to in the long run.

I hate myself when I am: cocky, arrogant, ignorant, cheating, stupid and not smart enough, immature, not taking care of myself, mean to my family, lying, moody, selfish, criticizing, obnoxious, not understanding enough, talking too much, etc...
I still have a lot to improve on.