~~~ Damien Rice - Volcano ~~~
~~~ Aesop Rock - No Regrets ~~~ @ Baltimore tonite. I need to make it to these concerts. I really need to.
~~~ The Strokes - Room on Fire ~~~ Yet to obtain this new record. I know I'm going to like it.

So the whirlwind finally came through my apartment this week. Everything fell apart. I crashed into myself and broke into pieces. Great, Hopkins. I love you. Just watch I'm going to pull through.

I finally decided to take pictures of my apartment. I figured its about time. Before I pack and leave. I'm sure thats going to happen before i know it.

My computer integrated surgery and complex analysis classes have been giving me a real good spanking. More lessons to learn in life. And just when you thought things would be easier, you crash into a new built concrete wall. Great. Taking these type of classes seriously only makes me feel even dumber. I mean, I learn a hell of a lot in them. But I end up coming out of the class room feeling ever more so dumb. I'm not even close to being labelled as "smart" academically. It always makes me wonder what my life is for then? I constantly feel like my feet are on two separate boats. I feel like the rope of a tug-of-war =/ Somebody pls win.

My little brother came and cooked me like 5-6 different dishes. I think he cares about me a lot more than i think. hmmm. lol. But yeah, my fridge is filled with boxes and boxes of ready cooked meals. All microwave ready and split into a-box-a-meal. My younger brother is 4 years younger than me, I'm so bad at taking care of myself he has to do this for me =/

Somebody save me.

Erik.

Saturday Acoustic Morning.

~~~ Jason Mraz - the Remedy (Acoustic) ~~~
~~~ Incubus - Pardon Me (Acoustic) ~~~
~~~ Our Lady Peace - Tear Drop (Massive attack acoustic cover) ~~~
~~~ 3 Doors Down - Kryptonite (acoustic) ~~~
~~~ Foo fighters - Breakout (acoustic) ~~~

Taking it easy.

Erik

~~~ Travis - Hit me baby one more time (acoustic live cover) ~~~ LoL..what else should i say?..its only mediocre tho...dunt expect it to blow you away..

Brain drained. Another weekend of guilt and depression. Argh, wasn't I stressing about the same issues last week?...crazyness...

I got on my turntables just now. I know I don't spend even a quart of the time I do on them compared to the guitar, but I truly love those decks. Its the analog sound that I love. On top of that, its the rhytmic manipulation of that sound which makes it truly amazing. Maybe I should spend some time off practicing how to spin? Yep, instead of goto work at 830am.

There are a couple things on my first of paychecks list to buy. I want to get a nylon guitar, 12-string guitar and drum machine. I'm sure this list will expand soon into a fender bass, amplifiers, les pauls, etc.... But yea, I want a nylon guitar for its clumsy mellow tone. And of course a 12 string guitar for its glittery mesmerizing sound. Haha, enough music talk.

12pm tired.
Why?

Erik.

Have been incredibly busy over the past two weeks. Midterms, interviews, lab, h/w...all crashing into me. And thus, these lyrics. Pretty sad stuff I must say.


Anything

I'd give myself anything...
Anything to make me happy

I'd give myself anything...
absolutely anything...
to make me happy

Anything to let it out
All the words to spin my life
I wish I can give myself anything...

If only I could pull earth together
Divide the ocean with my might
I would give myself anything...
Anything to unplug the world tonight

I want it alright
I'd give myself anything...

A glimpse of ecstasy
A piece of the fruit
Fill me up with anything...
Anything to close the wound

Dreaming of who
Nothing to lose
In midst a flipping life
I want a sight of paradise

I'd give myself anything...
absolutely anything... anything... anything...
I will put anything broken back together
Bring everything lost back in motion

Just anything anything anything...

Jaded.
I believe that best describes my well being. So much in my mind and too much to live up to. My only motivation is knowing that everything will probably pay off sooner or later.
I'm in work mode. I will work and work and work and work until I can't work any harder. Although sad, I suppose thats the only way for me to feel less guilty/regretful about not being able to suceed my short term goals. Yes, it does sound like insanity, but I guess thats where I find the drive to do something. Its a viscious cycle of work.

Sometimes I wonder how hard I can push myself.

~~~ Justin Timberlake - Like I love you, Rock your body ~~~ Cut the introdution, I'm sure everybody knows these songs. I just wanted to say that I am proud to admit to his music. Good music cannot be denied, this guy has soul.
~~~ Jason Mraz - You make me High ~~~


Crash

There are oceans between us,
Experiences to live for,
Egos to live long.
Baby show me what it was all for.

1983. Just another year I was born.
Give me another century to prove it all.
I told you something I haven't heard of
How beautiful my dreams call.

Theres nothing I want to do,
I feel I'm living to live by.
Theres everything I want to do.
To be superman is not a lie.

Somethings behind all this time.
The flowers I smell everyday,
They know better than I.
When its my time. It will be mine.


Haha..what was that?

Airik.

~~~ Morcheeba - Be Yourself ~~~ Yes. Be yourself.

I feel that my blog has lost its tone and color over time. Its boring, reptitive and generally not very interesting anymore. I mean, how would it be interesting when even its author thinks its crap. I'm seriously considering whether I should just stop writing. I figured if I'm continously writing about nothing new or interesting, then its just time to shut this down.

Yep, and hence the effort to reanimate the site by changing the layout and color scheme. The old fashioned blue, blue, blue and more blue airik ramblings site was getting a little tiring. Its sorta like repackaging my product u know? Trying to give it a different feel, shine it under a different light or something. But does it work? Haha, probably not. Not if the product still sucks. Its just another stupid marketing scheme.

My interests have changed drastically over the past 4 years. From still playing video games to practically none. From reading magazines like Maxim and FHM to Wired and WSJ. I spend more time on Yahoo!News than I do on ign.com. I used to go make visits to Djs such as Qbert and Paul van Dyk, but now I rather go listen to Michael Moore and Nelson Mendela speak. Hmmmmm. I suppose all these things are good signs. Although most my friends don't feel the same yet, to say the least, I'm glad I at least wouldn't have to be worried about not growing up.

I was recently looking back at my previous blog entries. I felt pathetic about them. I don't think I would write about any of that stuff if I wrote today. Its funny cause I can't believe how immature/inexperienced were some of those entries. Haha, and chances are that in a year, when I look back at this entry, I would think the same.

Ok. Time to go move my feet. Yep, junior senior.

Erik.

Sit back and take a deep breath.

Sometimes I feel like maybe I'd be better off taking things easier on myself. I need to spend more time listenning to what others have to tell me instead of forcing through with my own point of view. Some things are oughta be and some are not. Maybe its just not up to me to completely path my own life. I need to understand that fact.

Maybe I just have a bad grasp of the big picture. On top of being impatient, I feel like I need to constantly push myself harder to see results. Haha, I'm not much of a long term investor, I guess sometimes that oughta be the better thing to do. I have this dogmatic belief that if I constantly make short term trades, I'd have this higher chance of making it big. WRONG!

~~~ Leftfield - Rhythm and Stealth ~~~
~~~ Jack Johnson - Times like these ~~~
~~~ 3 Doors Down - Here without you ~~~
~~~ Evan and Jaron - Distance ~~~

Life is boring over here in Baltimore. I'd like to talk about my week, but the truth is that nothing actually goes on at all. I goto school...come home....work...do more work...play the guitar...and then end the day with more work. If I talked about anything about my life here, it'd probably just be about small little events that happen here and there. Going to school here is a place of reflection for me. Its nice and all, but I think I'd be better off elsewhere. I prefer to feel the adrenaline running through my blood. I'm just restless. I need to be constantly engaged.
In college, I don't feel like I live who I really am. Haha, maybe its because I went to GSIS. LoL. We're all bred to live more hermit like...we can't be fuct to socialize much.