~~~ DJ Food - Gold in my Pocket ~~~
~~~ Puddle of Mudd - Control ~~~
~~~ Jason Mraz - The remedy ~~~

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........done with summer skool. Done with EVIL EVIL Bio chem lab......*coughs*....that class was a terrible terrible mistake....*fingers crossed*...hopefully i didn't crash the practical...

Gonna pack and peace.
Airik.

http://www.hkvpradio.com/rhythm/music/features/20030610.html <---- I dun't know what to make of this, i mean, canto pop through another culture...pretty interesting...sometimes I wish I lead another life to have the chance to see through both of these experiences....

4 days til I leave.....or should I say 4 more days of blogging.....I'm assuming unless I have the free time to sit around and surf the web at work, I probably won't be up here much.....i guess its just this hongkong thing...or should I say HongKong me?.....People change in different environments.....we don't act free.....we act accordingly to whats around us.....where we are, who we are with, what we are doing.....just the air around us makes us think different.....

I feel a lot better now....still sick...but a lot better than I previously did over the last 2-3 days....i guess its cause I've woke up...I'm back in reality.....

~~~ Goldfrapp - Black Cherry ~~~
~~~ Bent - Irritating Noises ~~~

Everything is connected in this world because everything happens for a cause. And I mean everything. Its like computer code, its like the matrix....everything is made of code and everything can be explained in terms of code.....I guess in that sense, maybe science is a bad thing.....science is the theoretical explanation of phenomena...so in other words, the religion of science is telling us that there is no free will??.....basically, everything can be explained, everything is hardwired.....everything is logical....or better yet, science gives us the boundries an idealist would call basically describe as taking away our free will??......oh whateva...i'm crazy talking.....

Has anybody tried to use a shortcut to a folder that is already in the destination folder?

bye.
Airik.

Music comes first today:

The All-American Rejects - Swing Swing
Collective Soul - The world I know
Thursday - Understanding in a car crash
Mos Def & Massive Attack - I against I
Audioslave - Show me how to live, Like a stone, etc....
Love psychedelico - Lady Madonna

These dayz, I feel so numb. I feel like i'm living two lives. My focus and ego has been very supportive of the semester. Keeping me always in track, keeping me within my limits emotionally. I think its about time for me to move onto the next big thing.

One thing I've realized over the past couple months......my peers look highly of me?!.....like, as in, they see me a lot higher than i think of myself......this might sound real crazy.....but WOW!!!......I've never considered myself a smart person and i've never thought of myself as successful (i still want to, but i don't see myself as one)......like, erik = smart has just never gone through my brain........its crazy.....especially when i hear that from ppl i know that know me well or have known me for the longest time.....its like, shit!!...i only say that to ppl i look upto and i know for sure they're gonna fly....so ppl feel that way of me?!!....woah.....its a lot to take, i never thought that highly of myself.....i find that the biggest complement of all time.......ppl who believe in me more than i believe of myself......

Anywayz, enough ego talk (i dunt, but just in case anybody else finds that it is)..........i can't be bothered to blog no more....

~~~ Hooverphonic - Mad about you ~~~

A year ago, I mentioned something about a summer low. I think I hit an early one this summer. Hopefully this is it....otherwise,.....I foresee pain....a lot more pain and even more pain. *coughs* i'm sick enough right now...and I have enough work coming piling over me to make me even more sick....but yeah, hopefully this is it...hopefully this is the hardest I'll have to go through....hopefully things will stabilize, hopefully things will turn out good no matter how they turn out.....just please no more pain!

I feel drugged up. Too much Nyquil probably, shit that stuff is not doing what its supposed to....its making me trip up on my own feet....i feel like i can't even tell whether i'm looking at myself in the mirror or whether the mirror is looking at me.....I feel like I can't trust my own conscience....my own eyes...my own thoughts.....everything seems to be unreal......everything seems to be a crazed projection of my thoughts.....i can't tell....i can't tell...
When was the last time i told myself i got to get back on track?...whenever that was, its time to do so again....its time to be dependant on me and myself once again....not our life...but my life.....I sound very optimistic here, but I think I see the tip of happiness in the corner of my eye....I feel like I can snap my finger and change everything around once again....I can be happy....excited...and jumpy about life all over again......i've been there...i know its around the corner....

I think I'd feel so much better if I just told the world that I've found my gold. Although, under many circumstances, it wouldn't be the thing to do rite now......I hope I'd be able to do it one day....I'm gonna come up here, and boldly proudly let the world know whats behind the curtains....what gave me emotions....what taught me be the man I am.....what gave me appreciation....what pushed this emotional side of me I never thought I had.....if only I can just tell the world...if only my love would break those barriers....

Woah.
Airik.

Hello there.
I'm sick. Like sick sick. Fever sick. I have a huge headache and a throat that doesn't feel like it belongs to me no more. Definitely, too much craziness over the past week. Its unreal to not get sick after what I've been through though..haha. But yeah, I'm dazed, tired and flying rite now. I still got a hella last week of summer school ahead of me...papers, labs, quizes, practicals....urgh....suck me.

I haven't felt emotions for a long time. I've been living life for the past two years without fear and depression. I was just generally happy with me and my life. But all of a sudden, something has hit me again, and I'm starting to feel like i'm back in square one.....i feel like i have nothing....and nothing at all to look forward to........what else do I have other than my own conscience??...pretty much nuthing. At least nothing more or less than anybody else.....

I'm gonna die if I need to eat another buffalo wing. Seriously.

will be back.
airik.

I'm gonna have 20 mins at most to write this entry...lablablab soon...argh....haha...not to mention the quiz I haven't studied for....but ohwell, thats what summer school is all about aint it??

I love Pink Floyd. His music is perfect. I can't believe I never spent the money to get his CDs before....I've always wanted to buy it but never in the mood to do so when I get to the CD store...but anywayz, man, his stuff is irreplacable....Its sooooooo chill!!!......thats seriously the stuff i'm talking about man.....hell, i'm going to go get the rest of his albums first thing next time I hit the store....I'm starting to feel that the more I listen to rock and all sorts of techno.....i'm startin to feel like maybe rap really aint that great to sit and vibe along with.....ha

Everybody is passed out. hahaha. I love that word. Passed OUT!...haha..yea, pretty tite....everybody is gone in my bedroom....while I hafta get up and go schooling....ewwww....gayness.....but its all good tho, this is what the summer is all about...chillin and chillin and chillin...yep, thats rite.....hehe...I think I'm having a good time....well, why wouldn't I when I get to sit around a bunch of bros every meal....=)

These dayz, the more I think about my trip in LA last summer, the more I miss it....I think I had an awesome time while I was there and didn't even notice it then......hopefully this summer will turn out just as crazy as it previously did....

ERik.

So I was mentioning how my dad thinks i'm 21 years old........and guess what??....when I was asked how old he was, only then i realize i didn't know the answer to the question either........hahha.....yep, definitely proves that I'm his son doesnt it??........hehe......i love him too!!!... but don't know his age either......

I can't wait to get back to hongkong.....I miss home.....(yep, once again!! ^^)......I miss my breaks in hongkong, they're always packed with fun.....hehe....when I say fun, I meant going back so that I can act like i'm coughing a lot on the streets....hahah....i just can't wait to see the typical hk reaction.......imagine I do that in the elevator or in a restaurant.......hahahahaha.....yesyesyesyes, i can't wait........my new secret trick to get some space when its too crowded...haha

I hate the truth. The truth is that the truth is always sad. Funny how all the so called "choices" we make in life are all supposedly already determined....as 'the matrix reloaded' describes: those that we call "choices" are actually paths we take that we don't understand........seriously, how are we supposed to live knowing that theres no free will??


ERIK.
'like you, like me, simply just don't care'

I think i'm a Jack-ass/Tom Green person. I have this big thing with pushing the limits of normal social behaviour. I like to think out of the box, I like to do stupid witty things....I want to think of myself as free. Not that I approve of everything tom green and the jackass crew do, but I defintely approve of their behaviour and take on life. Some people mite seem to think that I'm the example of a perfect straight up guy, but I don't agree with that at all........I love crazy ideas, or even better, crazy execution.....especially when you aren't harming the interests of others,i'm totally down with it...
I'm in love with adrenaline rushes.....I like the numbness found in undivided attention...i like to be focusing......

Sometimes I really wonder who I really am. I think I've learned the most about myself over the past 4 years so far in life. I really wonder if it'll ever stop, cause I'll know myself pretty darn well by then.

~~~ Foo Fighters - Hey Johnny Cash ~~~
~~~ Mum - Green Grass of Tunnel ~~~
~~~ Wayne Newton - Danke Schon ~~~

I'm currently taking some intense emotion management classes. Its driving me crazy.....sometimes I wonder how its possible to oppose your emotions...or should I say, theres no way to do so??......i might be wrong here, but I'm starting to feel like the only way out of it is to numb yourself with other emotions......*sigh*.......yep, go work...go play ball.....go fuck yourself and get those emotions off you......
Is that whats its all about??......all abstinence??....can i not be real to my emotions??.....can I not stand up to them and analytically solve them?

Haha...i feel like such a loser these dayz.....or maybe I just am?.......its like, i aint shit......i'm nothing more than an individual cliche.....everything i feel, everything i've done, everything i will do has been felt,done and did before........what the hell is my purpose??......why am I still living??.....whats the purpose of my existence??.......what cause am i?? or rather, what effect will i bring??........I need to know more than the fact that i'm here to write this blog for others to read.......I need to know a grande purpose.....i want to be able to stand up to the whole world and be like, 'This is what I've accomplished.'

Once again, and again, and again....to y'all chiggas.....WAT UP!!!!!.....hahahha......and THANX. I am a lost soul without you guyz.

Erik.

VDOS TO CHEK:
+++ White Stripes - Seven Nation Army +++
+++ Mya - My love is like...whoa +++
+++ Beyonce - Crazy in Love +++

I'M FREAKING OUT.
You know how it feels when you get all emotional?? Like, you find out about something or something happens and all of a sudden you feel a complete set of serotonin rush into your head....you know, like just after you found out you got into your dream skool.....or just found out a member of your family past away.....or just had the biggest argument with your significant other......
Emotions can be very very scary, especially when they aren't positive.....like I always say, "our own minds are the most dangerous weapon in this world" .....I think I just had a bad one today.....nearly fuct my life over.....

........

Although I've felt down over the past week, I won't let it stop me from being who I want to be. None of this originally struck out to me as obstacles (or bad luck) but I've had some pretty crappy ones over the month (well, one decent one though ^^...but that was like 2 months ago..=\ ).......but anywayz, yeah.....to start off, I found out i had 845 virus infections in my computer today....haha...the funny thing was that it didn't even piss me off a bit.......its 1:13am now.....guess what??? i spent the last 13 hours putting this piece of crap back together so i could do what??...blog???...hahahahha.....
Yep....i wasn't originally gonna come and bitch about this on my blog, but i mite as well.........3am in the morning last week, I was out picking up some food and my tires blew on me!!!.....awesome aint it??.....it was chilly and i had a T on, shorts and flips flops...........*sigh*.....i guess all i could say is i'm glad Lau was with me....otherwise it'd real suck.....
Haha....this then reminds me of my 2 $100 parking citations at NYC that same day..and the porcelain bowl from the sky that hit my car earlier the week before that....man, i don't want to explain the details.........maybe i shall start blaming god too for doing such a crappy job of making this a fair world......theres more to bitch about but its coo, i dunt want to talk about any of this anymore....
All in all, heres a clean simple middle finger to depression, a 'fui' life and bad luck!! The good times will be coming, i know it, i can't wait already =)

~~~ Camron feat. Tiffany - Day Dreaming ~~~ Yo, lets get down.

I feel like i'm back here all alone again. Maybe thats what "no obligations" mean. It means you have the right to not give a F about anything. I feel like a water bottle, i get filled up, i quench thirst....and then i'm put aside until theres anymore sign of thirst.....i am an object....i do not have to be treated with feelings......fill me up whenever i'm nearly empty and its all good......
So am I important?? Yes. Am I reliable?? Yes. Will I be needed? Yes. Is there a thirst for me?? Yes. Am I taken for granted??

I've been consuming a lot of MTV:Real World these days. Sometimes I feel like such an ass for being human. First of all, as humans, we can be such selfish arrogant ignorant beings. We don't deserve to live in this world....as the moto of the series always says "see what happens when 7 strangers are put together and start getting real and being themselves"......so are they indirectly saying that we as humans can't live happily and peacefully together??
Second of all, we're all losers for feeding off reality shows. What entertains us is to see other people (people we don't even personally know) cry, laugh, puke, hook up, have sex, be mad, fear, etc.....seriously, whats up with that??.....to live off others extreme emotions is just straight out sad.........man, i'm sad......i can't believe i sucker up to that shit too.........haha.......anywayz......crazy talk....i'll probably still continue to spend time watching the real world..

Aite. lab quiz and report due tomorrow.
Airik.