Balancing ideas and delivery

~~~ Hooverphonic - Mad about you ~~~

A year ago, I mentioned something about a summer low. I think I hit an early one this summer. Hopefully this is it....otherwise,.....I foresee pain....a lot more pain and even more pain. *coughs* i'm sick enough right now...and I have enough work coming piling over me to make me even more sick....but yeah, hopefully this is it...hopefully this is the hardest I'll have to go through....hopefully things will stabilize, hopefully things will turn out good no matter how they turn out.....just please no more pain!

I feel drugged up. Too much Nyquil probably, shit that stuff is not doing what its supposed to....its making me trip up on my own feet....i feel like i can't even tell whether i'm looking at myself in the mirror or whether the mirror is looking at me.....I feel like I can't trust my own conscience....my own eyes...my own thoughts.....everything seems to be unreal......everything seems to be a crazed projection of my thoughts.....i can't tell....i can't tell...
When was the last time i told myself i got to get back on track?...whenever that was, its time to do so again....its time to be dependant on me and myself once again....not our life...but my life.....I sound very optimistic here, but I think I see the tip of happiness in the corner of my eye....I feel like I can snap my finger and change everything around once again....I can be happy....excited...and jumpy about life all over again......i've been there...i know its around the corner....

I think I'd feel so much better if I just told the world that I've found my gold. Although, under many circumstances, it wouldn't be the thing to do rite now......I hope I'd be able to do it one day....I'm gonna come up here, and boldly proudly let the world know whats behind the curtains....what gave me emotions....what taught me be the man I am.....what gave me appreciation....what pushed this emotional side of me I never thought I had.....if only I can just tell the world...if only my love would break those barriers....

Woah.
Airik.